Just a Glance

Hani Tales - 29

2012-02-12T13:03:00.001+05:30

1) Friday evening,
Haniel gets all his craft things done for the week on this day. And I keep sticking them on a chart paper pasted on the wall of his bedroom.
Me: Hani, we will stick the crow and the cat you made on the wall.
Hani: No.
Me: Else, the maid will put them in dustbin...
No answer to this one..
After sometime, Hani wants to go his room where the lights are off..
Hani: I want the walter toy.
Me: We will take it after sometime.
Walter is a pretty expensive toy and I wanted him to use it only under my supervision.
Hani:I want to go my bedroom.
Me:(knowing his intentions very well) We will go after sometime.
Hani: Mummy, shall we stick these(referring to his craft) on the wall?
I very well knew the intention behind the sudden interest in sticking the craft.. :)

2) I was explaining the word 'family' to Haniel.
Me: Amma, appa and mon are a family. Adwaith, Kavitha aunty and Ajith uncle(referring to our neighbors)is a family. Bebo, Nitin uncle and Amita aunty(another neighbhor) is a family.
Hani: (thought for a while): Appacha, Ajay uncle, Blessy aunty, ella ente family ya....(All are my family)
While I thinking of explaining the word in a simpler way, Haniel understood it in a much bigger way. I was surprised!

Hani Tales - 28

2012-02-09T13:08:00.001+05:30

Heard,
Hani: Mummy , I want my birthday to be in March
Me: Why?
Hani: Nanda(his friend) has her birthday in March!
So, he wants his birthday in March!..

Hani Tales - 27

2012-01-31T14:49:00.001+05:30

Had been to my parents place last weekend.
Few anecdotes that happened over there...

1) Hani was given a piece of chocolate by my father.
Pat came the reply, "Thank you so very much, Appacha!!"

2) We went to the beach and my brother was having an ice stick.
Hani very badly wanted to have it.
Me: You can't have the ice stick. You will get cold.
He was looking at it longingly.
Me: Ok. Only one bite.
Hani: Two bites...
Me: Ok. Two bites. Athrey ullu. (That's all).
Hani: Ok.
He takes two bites.
Looks at my brother and says, who was having the rest of share.
Hani: Angene alla kazhikende. Njan kaanichu tharaam.(That's not how you eat. Let me show you..).

We knew very well his intentions...

3) After bath, I had a worn a pretty old skirt that I had worn during school days.
Hani looked at me from top to bottom as I climbed down the stairs.
He exclaimed, "Sundari kutty!!!" with a smile...
I was quite bowled by that!

Hani Tales - 26

2012-01-31T12:29:00.001+05:30

1) I was trying to wear a sari...
Hani looked at me head to toe and asked - Amma Ammachi aano?!!! (Amma,
are you Grandma)
He always sees his grandmothers in sari, not his mother!

2) I had got a call from office late evening.
I was at home and I was looking a little pensive after the call.
But, I was answering all of Hani's questions in a low voice.
When Ajiyos came back from office,
"Amma kke officil ninnu phone vannu. Amma mindinilla." (Amma got a
call from office. Amma is not talking after that), Hani said to his
Appa.
Hani had noticed the change that I had turned quiet after the call !
I never expected that!

3) Sometimes, it's tough to feed Haniel.
Statements such as "If you eat well, you will become big or strong or
tall" are not working these days..
So, I just muttered that "if you eat well, you will get good and long
hair like Diya".
Haniel retorted back "Appa ekku mudi (hair) illalo...

I had no answer...

Hani Tales - 25

2012-01-09T22:19:00.000+05:30

After dinner,

Hani : Mummy, Can I have mint from the rectangle?

Rectangle is referred to tic tac mint drops, which comes in a rectangle box.

Hani is very keen on identifying each and every thing that he sees in the form of a shape...

This one took sometime for me to figure what he was referring to...

Hani Tales - 24

2011-12-13T12:28:00.001+05:30

One morning, before going to school
- Mummy, switch off the veyil (sunlight).
(so, that it becomes dark again and he will not have to go to school!)

29 on 29

2011-11-29T23:59:00.002+05:30

I turned 29 on 29/11. I consciously realized that only when my cousin pointed it out.

When told to my parents and one of my aunt, they are finding it difficult to believe that I am indeed 29. To them, I am always their little one.

It feels nice when people remember one's birthday without the usual facebook/orkut reminders.

Hani was with me all thru the day. I didn't send him to school and boy, we had a blast. Poor Papa had a demo, so couldn't miss his office.

I took a day off consciously. Because, I wanted to spend all day at home...Yet, most of my office pals called up to wish me. That was sweet of them to do so.

This is a vow I am actually taking to myself. I am going to take the day off for all my forthcoming birthdays. One day in a year - spend it for self...

On Grandparents...

2011-11-07T00:08:00.002+05:30

Of late, I have been reading articles on the importance of grandparents presence and their positive influence in a child's life. Yeah, I definitely vouch for the idea that it is far better to leave your child with your parents rather than the so-called day cares/maids.

Yet, I wonder, our parents must be looking forward for a peaceful retired life after settling all the obligations of their life. Do they really crave to be with our children on all days of the year? They may definitely love to hear their grandchildren's little chats. But,on an everyday basis? I am not sure. I feel now that grandparents have lot of time at their disposal, they may wish to do something that they did not do when they were young. They may wish to start a small business or they may wish to do some farming. Also, our parents are so used to a certain routine and place for years that they may find it difficult to adjust with the new places. It is not the children saying a 'No' to parents coming and staying with them, rather the parents themselves decide that they want to spend their life at a place where they have got used to for years. Of course, with workplaces at far off places, the grandchildren get to spend lesser time with the grandparents.

Haniel spent his Puja vacation at his grandparents place alone. Since he is so used to having his parents(at least one of them, if not both) around at all times, he suggests we accompany him for the next vacation, once he was back from vacation.

Of course, Haniel is keen to visit his grandparents place, but insists his parents also come along with him. Maybe this may change when Haniel grows. But for now, he doesn't want to be left alone with his grandparents.

Hani Tales - 23

2011-10-17T12:43:00.002+05:30

Morning, we are traveling in car to office.
Haniel is put at the backseat.
He however, doesn't sit there.
He stands in between the front seats.
Appa: Haniel, go and sit in back. You will fall down, when I apply brakes.
Haniel: No, I will not fall.
Appa: You will fall down.
Haniel: Appa brake idenda. (Appa, don't put the brakes!)
Appa: I will apply brakes. You go and sit in the back.
Haniel: Njan pidichu irrunolaam. (I will hold(on to the seats) nicely).

Reflections...

2011-10-05T17:44:00.000+05:30

As children we don't realise our parents calling us unless we become parents and when our
children are not with us...
The number of times I call to my parental home has multiplied ever since Haniel is with
them.
Haniel is spending his mid-term holidays (11 days, to be precise) with my parents.Yeah, I know my parents can take better care of him than me, yet, I long to hear his voice every moment.

Hani Tales - 22

2011-07-20T11:50:00.003+05:30

Scene - 1
Evening, we are coming back home.
Haniel: Daadhy(Daddy...in his language), this is a car (pointing to a car).
Appa: Haniel, call me Appa.
Haniel: Daadhy, see this is bus(pointing to a bus)...
Appa: Haniel, I am Appa, not daddy.
Haniel doesn't give up calling Daadhy, but his Appa sure gives up explaining him...

Scene - 2
Appa picks up an apple from the fridge and has a bite.
Haniel wants a bite.
And Appa shares it with Haniel.
Appa asks for his bite, to which Haniel replies: Apple is cold! Which means his Appa should not eat cold items, while he can!

Scene - 3
Me: Haniel, go and wash your hands.
Haniel: Ok...
Me opens the tap of the washbasin.
Haniel: Vellam kalayalle...(Don't waste water)

Next, his Appa washes his hands.
Haniel again warns: Appa, vellam kalayalle...
Yeah, we do have a water problem and our Association is buying water.
So, obviously we keep repeating this same mantra to Haniel when he is seen wasting water...

We have started getting warnings/advices/or whatever you call them from Haniel what we used to give him..

Reflections...

2011-07-14T12:42:00.001+05:30

Was wondering the influence of material things in our lives.
Whenever Ajiyos is back from shopping, Haniel searches in the shopping bags that he got.
Same was the case with me when I was young.
Ajiyos also admits having done the same when he was young.
More than the person, we check the items that he bought from outside.
Guess that's how people are. We are attracted to the material things than the people involved...

Hani Tales - 21

2011-07-11T00:43:00.002+05:30

Hani was playing with a toy that resembles a concrete mixer.

The toy slides underneath the refrigerator.

Hani : Ente concrete mixer...Appa, fridge mattu...(My concrete mixer... Appa, move the fridge).

Appa : Mone, Frigde mattanu pattula (Fridge cannot be moved).

Hani looks here and there for a solution. Finally, fetches a spoon to reach the mixer.

Just wondering how he came up with that solution...Coz, we did not say any clues...

Hani Tales - 20

2011-06-24T23:58:00.002+05:30

Scene - 1

An Evening,

I give a piece of chikki(peanut candy) to Hani.

Hani takes it in hand.

His papa sees the chikki and asks for a share.

Pat came the reply 'Venda, venda, appekku pani varum!'. (No,No, you will get fever, if you eat this).

Well, I tell that to him whenever he asks for ice cream and if he has cold.

Scene -2

Haniel is playing and he pees at the place where he stands (by accident or by intention, God only knows!).

He looks at us, and says, 'Ini cheyilla' (I wont do it the next time.)

Whenever he does some mischief, I tell him to say sorry and these words.

These are so sweet to listen to that its hard not to laugh...

Hani Tales -19

2011-06-20T16:29:00.003+05:30

Sunday Afternoon:

Me chatting with hubby. Hani interrupting continuously.

Me getting irritated. Me warned Hani several times.

Hani continues his interruption. Me gives him a spank on his leg.

Hani wails. After 1 min., the wails stop. Hani keeps silence. Me finishes talking with hubby.

Hubby goes over to Hani to console him. Says he will beat Mummy for beating Hani.

Me(to hubby): Do u want to see a magic? Me goes over to Hani and held both hands.

Lo! Hani actually came over to me.

That's the beauty of being a mother. Had it been his father giving the spank, he will not have gone to him (from experience).

Hani Tales - 18

2011-06-13T10:15:00.004+05:30

Scene 1:
Haniel has started going to school. He gets dropped back to my office at noon.
I pick him up from the van and drop him to the creche in my office.
Ever since, he started for school, it is difficult for me to leave him in the creche, as he starts crying.
On Friday, I picked him and at the creche, asked him to get a spoon to have his lunch.
While he was going to get one, I got ready to make a move.
He turned back and said, "Pokalle" (Don't go).
Of course, how can one go after hearing that!

Scene 2:
At a recently opened mall, we were browsing thru the toys section and Haniel wanted to have a toy lorry.
Hani: Mon nu lorry venam. (Mon refers to himself - Mon needs a lorry)
Me: Monte kaiyil paisa undo? (Do you have money?)
Hani: Undu, pocket il undu. (Yes,I have it in my pocket)
Me: Kaniche. (Show me)
Hani searches pocket and finds nothing
Me: Illalo (you don't have).
Hani: Appade kaiyil undu. (Appa has money).
We could only laugh at that...

Ways of destiny

2011-05-19T16:05:00.000+05:30

I wanted it when I was a fresher.
Expected someone to offer it to me.
I did not get it.
Not even was I offered one, after marriage.
Today, I have a kid and have really forgotten those days.
Today, I don't want it.
Yet, someone offers it to me.
It is my choice whether to accept it.
The 'it' refers to an onsite assignment, which is a long term one.
Sometimes, I think, God makes situations in my life, which I usually take it in the positive sense.
Now God is testing me to choose over long-term-parting-with-Haniel or career.
It is a really difficult situation.
What do I do? Help me God, pls.

Wish I were like a child...

2011-05-18T12:56:00.002+05:30

Sometimes, I wish I were a child.

Whenever, I scold Haniel for any mischief he does, he goes crying.

10 minutes later, he is done with his wailing , he comes to me happily.

Today morning was such an instance.

He wanted to climb inside the car himself. As I was late, I put him inside the car by force.

He started wailing. By the time we reached office, he forgot about the wails and was happy as usual.

How kids forget their fights so soon.

When we adults argue, we hold grudges against each other at least for an hour, before we return to normal. Sometimes, it may take longer.

How fast children forget that they were scolded.

Discipline...

2011-05-11T12:02:00.000+05:30

Recently, we had been to my in-laws place. Now, my in-laws place is in a typical Kerala village, where there are some hens and a dog as pets. Haniel enjoyed playing with the dog and particularly the hens. Owing to a recent spurt of stray dogs, my MIL doesn't allow the hens to stray outside for a long time. They are usually put inside the hen house. And are allowed to go out only for certain time.
What I was amazed is the discipline that my MIL has inculcated in these living beings. The hens and the dog come out and go inside at my MIL's instructions. They don't come inside the house at all. That's the way they are trained.
My MIL follows a particular discipline in running the house. She is usually up by 5:30 in the morning. She prepares the breakfast, lunch in the morning. The rest of the day, she is free. By 7:30 am, she has the breakfast laid on the table. By 12:30 PM, she has the lunch laid. 4:00 PM, the tea time and by 8:30, the dinner is laid. By 10, she has finished here chores and she is ready for prayer. She has been following this routine from the time she was working and she is still following it post retirement.
Boy, I really can't get up by even 7 on an everyday basis. Forget about getting up by 5:30. It’s a cycle, you wake up late, you go to office late, you come back home late and you sleep late, and again, you wake up late. But then, it’s a known fact that if disciplined, life becomes so easy. Gosh, if only I were so disciplined...

Hani Tales -17

2011-04-04T23:43:00.003+05:30

Two incidents that happened over the weekend that made me realize Haniel's memory is developing better each day

I had read out the story of Ali Baba & forty thieves post lunch today. (Today was an off because of Ugadi, a much needed break for us.)

When we went out in the evening, he said "Open Sesame" to the lift! Effect of Ali Baba, I guess!

As Papa sat on the driver's seat, Haniel proceeded to sit on his lap(he sometimes sits on his Papa's lap when he drives, for sometime). We stopped him. He continued with the rest of the dialog that we usually say. "Aiyyo, police adikkum(Oh!, police will beat). thidum thidum (patting on his Papa's thighs)".

Whenever we walk along with him, he insists on Papa holding one of his hands and Amma the other. Then he raises his legs hanging himself balancing himself within our hands.

It is so cute to watch his actions.

It often makes me feel that he is too perfect for his name - Harmonious Haniel. Handsome, happy and harmonious Haniel.

Hani Tales - 16

2011-03-31T10:47:00.005+05:30

Situation One: Haniel sitting on my lap. Appa driving the car. Suddenly, Appa applies the brake. Haniel hits the dashboard as an effect. Haniel exclaims "Appa!" as if it is because of Appa that he hit the dashboard. A sort of accusation call. Second situation: Me listening to the song on FM radio in the car. Me getting excited and I started to pat on Haniel's legs in rhythm to the song. Haniel exclaimed "Aiyoo! Adikalle, Pavalle...(Dont' beat me, I am innocent, right?) Haniel made our day!

Partners for life...

2011-03-21T14:50:00.002+05:30

Last Saturday, went for the routine Glaucoma check up. After the tests were done, went for lunch at the hospital cafeteria. It was 3:30 PM, when we finished lunch. As Ajiyos had some bill settlements, he went to the bill counter, while both of us, me and Haniel were standing outside the cafeteria, waiting for Ajiyos to join us.
An old couple, must be in their 70's passed on to the cafeteria.
Thatha(Grandfather in Tamil): Appo, enikku ino konju naalu pakka mudiyum nu soluranga. (So, they are telling that I can see with my eyes for some more time)
Patti(Grandmother in Tamil): Seekaro vango (Come fast).
Thatha(Checking his purse):Iru, change irrukaan pakarren. (Let me see if I have change(in rupees)).
Patti: Seekarum saptu, bus leyo, ille na auto leyo pokalaam. (After having a speedy lunch, lets go in bus or auto(to home)).
Thatha: Enna avasaro, nadanthe pokaalam. (Why hurry, lets go walking)
Patti: aiyyo, vena, enna veyil, (no, its so hot).... And the voice faded away to the cafeteria.

I was just smiling at this couple, who in their old age had come over together to have an eye checkup perhaps.
Was wondering if this couple had any children or none. Even if they had, they were independent and dependent upon each other for any need.
Just imagined, how much a partner means especially in old age.

Hani Tales - 15

2011-03-09T11:35:00.002+05:30

Haniel is learning a lot of vocab, esp. in Malayalam. I have taught him three lines of prayer.
"Thank you Jesus for food".
"Thank you Jesus for my parents".
"Thank you Jesus for all your blessings". Amen.
If he is in a mood, he prays all the three lines. Else, he speaks nothing.
Recently, he cut short the prayer for his conveince.
Now it sounds like"Thank you Jesus for food, my parents, all your blessings. Amen."

Post Dinner, Haniel is given a bottle of milk to drink. Depending on how much food he had in the evening, he drinks the milk to the full.
Yesterday night,
Appa: Mone, paalu kudikku (Son, Drink Milk)
Hani: Menda (No)
Appa: Paalu Bebo nu kodukkum. (I will give the milk to Bebo(next door toodler, same age as Hani's)
Hani: Menda(No).
Hani snatches the milk bottle and has his fill. The bottle is still half full.
Appa: Mone, paalu kudikku
Hani: Menda
Appa, again threatens to give milk to Bebo.
Hani(comes up with a solution): Paalu fridge il vekku. (Keep milk in the fridge)

What an idea, sir ji...

Hani Tales - 14

2011-03-07T12:49:00.005+05:30

Dinner Time
I was holding a plate of Chicken Biriyani (I prepared, which of course, was delicious) to feed Haniel.
I brought a steel glass of water for Haniel."Athu Alla" ("Not that one" - indicating that he did not want the steel glass).
There are couple of other glasses that I showed.
Finally, he settled for a blue sipper.
Earlier, whatever glass I gave, Haniel had water/beverages in it. Now, he has started to make choices.

Post Dinner
Haniel was playing with his toy cars and scooters.
I was amazed when he counted the number of cars as "1,2,3 cars and said 3 cars".
The number of scooters as "1,2 and said 2 scooters".
And finally declared "3 cars and 2 scooters".
Earlier, he used to count. But, I really ignored him thinking that he was simply playing around with numbers.
This time, he amazed me. How fast, children learn...

Reflections...

2011-02-25T13:49:00.003+05:30

Was talking to one of my friend, who said she had couple of friends, who as a group had decided not to have kids. Can't imagine, how much they would be missing! Today, I m thinking tons of times before actually leaving Haniel at my in-laws/parents place. Becoz, our house wore a deserted look and had an unpleasant silence on days, when he was not around for some days last year. Children are indeed gift of God...

Reflections...

2011-02-21T12:48:00.000+05:30

Wonder, why do companies hesitate to share the status of a candiate for an interview? I am sure that they are least worried about the sentiments or emotions of the candidate. Even if it is success or failure, why can't they simply spill the beans, in stead of wasting the candidate's time (at least they can seek other oppurtunities)? (No, I am not looking for change currently, just a thought based on past experiences)

Who takes the blame?

2011-02-18T17:20:00.001+05:30

Yesterday, a school van fell into a river at Trivandrum. It was carrying couple of nursery school kids and an ayah. Four tiny tots and the ayah were drowned to death. The mishap took place while the van was negotiating a curve on way to the school. The driver is said to be out of danger. When media contacted some of the school van drivers, they said, they sometimes have to wait for 5-10 mins to pick up a kid(the kid comes late). The drivers then negotiate speed with punctuality to reach school on time. Also, there are vans crowded with children, much beyond the limit. Such news shock me, because, I am also a parent. It is really sad that the kids were at such an age when they cannot even swim to safety. So, who takes the blame? The driver or the parents(indirectly)? Anyway, the lives of 4 tiny tots are gone and it is the parents who suffer the loss the most. Really saddening that authorities take action only after an incident takes place and not before that...

Don't grow, please!...

2011-02-16T15:06:00.003+05:30

When I look back at the collection of pictures that I have of Haniel, I feel like telling him - Don't grow please.Toddler is such a beautiful phase that it's difficult to let it go.
Haniel is growing tall, he is getting older and will start going to school from this year.
The attachment with us, the little conversations, the story times, the rhyme times, the meal times are wonderful aspects of toddlerhood.
Once he starts for school, he is definitely going to get a little detached from me, which actually is normal.
He will have his new set of friends. He may start to read books on his own. His conversations will become clearer. His dependency on me will reduce.
But as a selfish, possessive mother, I don't want to want to lose these moments.
Somedays, when I don't take the car, we come by bus. I lift him and walk till the bus stop. During such times, the conversations that we have revolve around the things around us like auto, car, big car, small car, dogs, puppies, red bus, nursery rhymes, stars, moon, aeroplane.
He plants kisses on my cheek without even me asking for it. He cuddles my face in his little hands. He closes his eyes with a smile and stays close to me when I wrap him with a towel after his bath.
Gosh! those are some of the best(is there any other word better than best?) moments we have. He is a beautiful baby that God has gifted us.
I still wish, Hani, don't grow fast. Please slow down. I wish every parent experience the beautiful world of toddlers in their lives...

Hani Tales -13

2011-02-11T16:57:00.000+05:30

Couldn't help adding this one!
Scenario: We were having evening tea with snacks.
Haniel was talking,talking and talking, with vague references to Dhruva and Nanda(his friends in creche).
After sometime, he looked at me and asked "Manasilayo?" (Did you understand?).
It was just too cute to listen to that! I should say, Haniel's video moments...

Hani Tales - 12

2011-02-10T11:06:00.003+05:30

Haniel now can speak relatively well esp. in Malayalam.

Since his skin is pretty dry, I give him an oil bath every day. So, in the evening, when I ask him, "Mone, nammukku kulikaam?" He replies, "yenna thechu, kuikkaam"(After applying oil, let's take bath). Yesterday, I asked him before giving him his bath, "Mone, nammukku chappathi(dinner) kazhikkaam?(Mone, shall we have chappathi?) He replied "yenna thechu kulichu, chappathi kazhikkaam".(After having oil bath, we will eat chappathi).

Since our car is new and it's a petrol car, I found it difficult to drive initially and Ajiyos used to drop me at office. While picking me up, I ask Ajiyos, "Ini njan odikette(Let me drive now). Haniel promptly replies "Venda, Appa odikette (No, let appa drive). Amma odikenda(Amma, don't drive). Isn't there a little bit of male chauvinism in that? I hope not.

Today morning, I had a small argument with Ajiyos on spending family time. I told him to sit at the dining table and have his breakfast. He was sitting on the sofa, reading the newspaper and having his breakfast. I asked Haniel. "Mone, Appayodu para, ivide vannu kazhikkaan."(Mone, ask Appa to come here and eat). Haniel got down from his seat. He asked his Appa, once. Seeing that his Appa wouldn't budge, he pushed Appa's dining chair towards the sofa and asked him to sit there. Similarly, he pushed his chair closely to his Appa's and advised me, "Amma, vaa."(Indicating me to sit along with them). I was surprised, because normally, he does whatever I tell him. And here, he found an innovative solution to have family time together.

He has now started to have his views, his favorite song to be played on the music player, his favorite story book to be read, his favorite song to be listened from Amma, his favorite ad to be seen on TV. Thankfully, we did not show him much of cartoons and he seems to have less interest in them.

Recently, he even saw one complete movie night show at a theatre. Usually, he dozes off during night shows. Yeah, we did not stop watching movies at theatres even though we have a toddler. And I know parents who do not go to theatres for the fear that their babies may cause disturbance. They actually do not. Try it out at night shows with a bottle of milk. It always works for us.

Some tidbits...

2011-02-02T16:42:00.003+05:30

2 posts in January. Not bad. Its better than typing none.

Was held up with work. One of my team mate left for a vacation when we had a crucial client demo to take place in the last week of Jan. Meanwhile, our application also went for a toss(very predictable in such situations!).

I had almost four managers behind me all of last week to set it right, since client esclated to the next level. I used to handover Haniel to Ajiyos at 7 in the evening and went back to work. Hubby was also considerate enough to pick me up from office after late nights.

Such periods are the times when the cycle of life goes for a toss, no prayers,late dinners,late to sleep, late waking up, minimal cooking.

And I guess the worst hit is Haniel, when he gets the least nutrition.

Guess, late nights are part and of course bane of a software engineer's life. Can't help it.

I believe, both partners in a working couple must be considerate enough to make adjustments at such times. And Ajiyos definitely was a great support.Thanks hubby...

Haniel Moments, Again...

2011-01-11T10:07:00.007+05:30

Incident 1
Yesterday night post dinner, we decided to take a stroll in our campus. Haniel took out his cycle. He doesn't know to ride it yet. He simply sits on the seat and we push the cycle from behind. While Ajiyos was pushing the cycle, I was talking with Ajiyos. Suddenly, Haniel shouted "Nikku, nikku(stop), We stopped. In his cycle carrier, there was an used capsule cover. He took it out and pretended to be attending a call, "Hello, ok ok, bye". Then he said, " pokkaam". When asked who was in the phone, he answered, "Appacha". We burst out laughing at his stopping the cycle and pretending to be in phone...
Incident 2
Yesterday night, as usual, we received a routine call from his Appacha(my father). This time, he was engrossed in building blocks that he did not go near the phone. As I was near him, I told him, "Hani, say hi to Appacha." He looked up and said in a straight tone, "Appacha, Hi" and then went back to his building blocks. This little one is sometimes to so funny to watch that you forget everything else in the world.
Incident 3
Today morning, as usual, the breakfast was idly. Haniel was sitting on his father's lap and I was sitting at the opposite chair.
Me: Haniel, entha athu? (pointing to the idly)
Hani: Idaly.
Me: Alla, athu dosa ya. (No, that’s dosa)
Hani: Idaly (in a bolder tone)
Me: Alla, athu dosa ya.
Hani looks at his father.
Me: Entha athu?
Hani: Dosa.
Hubby(pointing to the idly: Athu idaly alle? (Isn't that idly)
Hani: Amma paranju...(Mummy told).
We could simply smile at his innocence.
We thought he would pick up English, as he was going to the day care. He seems to be building his Malayalam vaocabulary pretty fast.
He can now tell which offices we are working with. Recognizes people like his Ajay uncle, Blechy aunty(Blessy), his grandparents pretty good. That's Haniel at 28 months...

From Words to Sentences...

2011-01-03T18:40:00.007+05:30

Some of the sentences Haniel uses:
- Ennikku paalu veaanam, - I need milk, with his veaanam having a long emphasis.
- Ennikku bicuit veaanam - I need bisuit
- Enniku idly veaanam, - I need idly
- Mon vellam veaanam, - In form of third party talk, Mon needs water
- porathu pokaam, - lets go out.
- chocatu kazhikaan pova (Going to eat chocolate)

If I am using Ajiyos phone or laptop, he says "Aiyoo, Appa phone. vaikku, vaikku" (Thats Appa's
phone. Keep it down).

If his Appa is in his bathroom, and if his phone is ringing, I pick it up. He comes running. "Aiyyo, appa phone. tha, tha." So that he can give the phone to Appa.

If I give a clap on Ajiyos back or hand, and if he cries( in acting) in pain, he chides me, "Adi kodukkum" (I will give a beating). He will have his index finger pointing to me like a teacher.

If during bath, he gets in touch with cold water, he cries out loud, "thanthe velam, thanthe vellam"(Cold water, Cold water).

Eating times are Monkey times. Our apartment housed couple of monkeys before we came and invaded their colony. So, some monkeys can still be seen outside. If he sees me with a plate, he understands that I am going to feed him. He then says, Monkey.

His pronunciation for the words helicopter, building blocks, plane, colors(for crayon) are so alike that we ask him to repeat several times, before we can understand what he wants.

Last weekend, we had an embarrassing moment(Yes, there are moments of embarassment in parenting). One of my friend had come home with her twins(1 year old). Haniel did not allow them to touch his toys. Whenever, they touched them, he said, "aiyyo, aiyoo".

Jesus star is the star that we have hung in our balcony and Twinke Twinkle star is the one in the sky.

I wish I could actually jot down one day of his activities. It would be fun reading them at a later
point of time...

Year 2010, that was!

2010-12-29T10:31:00.002+05:30

As the days come closer to start the New Year, I wish to reminisce the year 2010 that was, actually a good year for me.
1) I started to cook on my own. Yes, there are breaks (sometimes, I skip cooking), yet, the big thing is I started to cook in the morning, so that evenings become relatively free.
2) I started to drive on Bangalore roads, something which scared me during my initial days here.
3) On personal front, went for our first family trip to Goa. Wish we continue making at least one pleasure trip every year.
4) Again, on personal front, we have reduced the typical family arguments considerably. A little credit goes to our little Haniel and little credit to our maturity.
5) On work front, I moved to a new project, making a conscious decision that being in the old project was not doing me any good.
6) I went for my first onsite trip, which I thought; I will not be able to travel after marriage.
7) We started praying together as a family. Yet to work on the consistency. I am happy that Haniel prays when we pray together.
8) I tried to keep my resolution of posting at least one post per month, (skipping March month, but that's okay).

These are some things I can think of now. Overall, 2010 was a, good year for me as well for us(Hubby, I hope you can vouch for that).
As the new year comes by, I hope I can keep at least some resolutions by the end of next year.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-24T11:34:00.006+05:30

Another Christmas and people all around the world must be busy preparing for the big feast, midnight mass, preparing cakes and wines and getting ready to celebrate a beautiful Christmas with their families. I am also looking forward to Christmas, however, this time, it would be with my cousins and of course, with Haniel and Ajiyos around.

I remember my childhood days, when my parents used to get us greeting cards. We used to fill them to send it to our cousins, grandparents, uncles and aunts. This, we used to do during one of our last exams, so that the card reaches well in time before Chirstmas to our relatives. My father used to hang a Christmas star in our balcony during the first week of December. My father used to bake a cake with fruits that were soaked in rum one month back. As on the Christmas eve, we used to go to church at 2 AM. Church used to get over by 6-6:30 AM. And we used to be given a piece of cake to break the 25 day fast. (Orthodox Christians have a tradition of not having non veg food from the 1st of Dec to 24th of Dec.). My mother used to make delicious chicken curry with appams. Later on, she used to cook a feast with all non veg delicacies such as mutton biriyani, with fish fried, chicken fried - wow, my mouth started to water now. We used to have the cake.Elders used to relish on wines, sharing a joke with each other, when they are together.

Now, times have changed. Greeting cards gave way to e-cards and finally there are nobody
wishing anyone in specific, but a message or a post or a scrap in their social networks wishing
everyone a "Merry Christmas". Midnight masses have given way for evening masses. People are scared to get out of their homes during nights. Because of the busy schedules that we have, we often forget to take the 24 day fast. Baking a cake have given way to buying cakes. And for the Christmas feast, you have ready to make appams, and other ready to eat mixes available in the market.

However times change, Christmas still signifies the birth of Jesus Christ and I love to have a
Christmas tree, a beautiful little crib, a star hung in my balcony, cakes baked by me and all
dishes prepared by me. I had every thing done last year, except the first two. Next Year, Ajiyos and I have thought of celebrating Christmas at our home.

Here's we wishing all of you & your families a very

"Merry Christmas and Happy New Year".

They do not need appraisals...

2010-12-16T11:33:00.001+05:30

Incident - 1
Few months back... Our Kavery water supply tap had its tap filter blocked. Similarly, our bathroom tap also had its tap filter blocked with dust. As a result, the water force coming up from these two taps was feeble. Montu, the plumber, told straight away that the filters need a replacement. The problem persisted, as we did not bother to get the filters replaced. Some months later... There was again a problem with the flush tank. The plumber was called once again. This time, Raju, another plumber came. Not only did he rectify the problem with flush tank, he fixed the filter problem of the other two taps with the help of a safety pin. The taps worked as good as new. He also asked, if there were any other problems to be rectified, by asking "aur kuch hain, sir?" We were satisfied with his work.

Incident-2
Home loans interest rates were coming down and we thought of changing our bank from Axis bank to SBI. We were introduced to one Anjan Kumar, who processed our home loan quickly. This was not expected from a nationalized bank. He did two important things that made us feel that he was doing an extra mile for us. One, on pure trust, he skipped the guarantee step when we switch banks. Secondly, whenever, we required documents, Anjan was always there to help us. SBI requires a hypothecation process, when the property partially gets registered in the bank's name. At the registrar's office, at the last moment, we came to know that some other document was required. Anjan was called again and he drove all way from city to the registrar office for giving the documents. He also signed the witness columns in the registrar office. From the past experiences with government officers, Anjan was an exception. He was humble and polite with us all time.

It’s appraisal time at office now. And I am again stuck with "what stuff must I fill in the self appraisal columns". The persons whom I mentioned above, esp. Raju and Anjan - they do not require appraisals to rate them. People like Raju do not get a hike based on appraisals. In fact, even if they do their jobs well or do not go that extra mile, they are given a uniform hike. Yet, they go an extra mile. Even Anjan, being a government employee, he also cannot expect the system to pay him high based on his performance. Yet, they go an extra mile. In software industry where I am associated with for the past 6 years, the majority of them earn much higher. Yet, they crib that they are not paid high and also crib about the late hours they have to put in. Not all, but at least some crib. So, whenever there is a higher salary, you jump there. What I learnt from Raju and Anjan is that they are not expecting anything in return. They simply do their jobs at their best. The best we could do in return is to acknowledge their supervisers that they were doing a good job, which we did...

Old car, bye, bye!

2010-12-15T12:06:00.000+05:30

Finally, we decided to sell off our car of 4 years. It was a diesel car and started giving lot of maintenance problems.Which means, almost weekly trips to the service station. That also included poor hubby missing office during weekdays. But it was so difficult to let it go inspite of the problems that it gave. Ajiyos came to see me(bride seeing) in this car. I went along with him to Bangalore from Kerala in this car. We searched for our own home in this car. We went for my monthly checkups in this car. We brought Haniel home in this car. The car had witnessed some of our arguments. Some happy moments as well. Sometimes, the car used to be the only place when we could talk to each other without any interruptions such as household work. Ajiyos has picked me up from office n number of times in this car. I learnt driving in this car. I started to drive on my own in this car. Ajiyos gave a kiss to the car before he left the workstation. Memories with this car will remain as we leave the car behind...

Zurich Visheshangal...

2010-12-01T00:39:00.004+05:30

It's 12 days since I am here in Zurich...Talking about Zurich, it's a beautiful city with beautiful people around. The public transport system is amazing. And there are fewer people who take their motor cars. Motor car drivers give way for pedestrians giving priority to them. It was snowing when I was here. And people here have no hesitation to go to work and best part taking public transport.
I for that matter enjoyed the snow. Snow is beautiful to look at, however, it’s tricky to walk over it.
I got to see little bit of Swiss, thanks to Deepu.
Got to travel in cable car.
Got to see Mt.Rigi kulm, around 1800 m above sea level.
Got to know that here children are trained for skiing from the age as young as 2.
Got to see clouds surrounding a lake.
Got to see some bit of Luzern.
Got used to the cold temperatures that were as low as -3 degrees.
Got to travel in trains.
Got to shop in the shopping malls near by to the railway stations.
Got to know that bonhof is railway station and flugahen is airport.
Got to eat Swiss chocolates - they were too good to resist, melting in the mouth.
Got to walk in snow. Got to play with snow.
Got a chance to enjoy spinsterhood again.
Got to know that the shops here close by 8 in the evening and on Saturdays, till 5. And Sundays were strictly family days.
Got to know that the Swiss are family loving people and they start for office early and reach home early.
Got to earn a little bit of pocket money in these 2 weeks. J
Got to… Got to… Got to…
Too many Got to's, stopping for now…
Reaching home on Sunday and I am looking forward to it…

In Zurich...

2010-11-24T01:05:00.002+05:30

I am on a two week trip to Zurich, purely a business trip. But, I really hate it now. Missing Haniel, hubby and family too much. I am now okay to Bangalore traffic. Be it the food or language or climate, east or west, home is where the heart is and I wish to be back in Bangalore as soon as possible. 10 more days to go...

Hani's Camera Moments

2010-10-28T17:56:00.002+05:30

After a hard day's work, when I pick up Haniel in the evening, he runs fast and reaches out to me with his face gleaming a big bright smile and calling out...Mee...Mee.. his voice reverberating with his running. Such a treasure to watch that I forget that unsolved problem of work.Priceless...

When I have any body ache and I complain, "aah", Hani comes and asks "eno oti?" That means "what happened?" with a look of worry over his face and his lips shaping to a small "o". Priceless...

Can't help smiling over these again and again...

Change...

2010-10-07T17:02:00.003+05:30

Change is the only thing permanent in life.
It is easier to advise "Change yourself" than doing the change in self...

Hani Tales - 11

2010-10-05T11:49:00.001+05:30

Me having a back ache, as usual.

Me lying down in bed.

Hubby applying a gel onto my back.

Hani drinking his bedtime milk lying next to me.

Hani watches papa applying gel onto my back.

Hani stops drinking milk.

Hani points to his back asking papa to apply gel to his back as well!

Hani Tales – 10

2010-09-28T12:04:00.001+05:30

This post is long but, can’t help it, when you have an active toddler around you have loads and loads to say.

Hani turned 2 two weeks back. He talks to express what he wants now. His vocabulary includes bellam(water), paala (milk), 'bicuit'(biscuit) or 'chocolato'(chocolate), idali (idli), cheppathi(chappathi), dousa(dosa), mazha(rain), moon, pazha (banana), pone (landline or mobile phone), vowavu (wound), tv, come, sit, car, building, animals like cow, dog, lion, eletant or aana (elephant), house, scooter, choo (choodu meaning hot), col (cold), ennitteee..(get up),marikkee( move away), chaya (tea), parts of the body like eyes, nose, legs, toes, mouth, teeth and much more.

If he sees his father's t shirt around, he asks - "Appa, aano?" (Is it Appa's?)
When asked, where is appa, he says - "Appa poyi" (Appa went)
If his picture is shown to him, he says – “mona” (its mon – that’s him )
When asked to pray, he folds his hands together, talks in his baby language and at the end say, Amen. One day he was even seeing telling his lion and elephant toys to pray by saying "patikku"(pray).
If I am reading newspaper and if he wants something, he says " vaikku, vaikku". pointing to a place to keep the paper.
Yesterday, we got to watch a Malayalam movie in a cinema theatre - "Pranchiyettan and the saint". It was a very funny movie which had the audience often in splits. There were cheers by clapping hands. Hani was also laughing and clapping his hands along with them. Of course, he wouldn't have understood anything, what they are talking.
During interval, hubby took him out. After the interval, he started to get cranky asking me to get up, "ennitte". I had no idea what he wanted and we took him out almost thinking that we may have to leave the theatre mid way. But, he wanted the popcorn or the packet of chips. And sure, he made us to purchase it. After that, we could watch the movie in peace.
If he wants me to pick him up, he says, "Kai, kai"(asking me to lift him).
He can say the days of the week, some months of the year, count from 1 to 10, after 4 its 8 for him. He can also sing couple of rhymes like Johnny Johnny, Ring a ring roses, twinkle twinkle little star, rain rain go away. Of course, none of them sound complete or clear.
I have also weaned him successfully. So, 'paal' is bottle/cup milk alone. During night time, I started to tell him stories so that he forgets to feed from me, and listens to the stories with interest. Of course, it is the actions that attract him and not the content of the story.
Food habits are changing fast. He doesn't eat food that eagerly. He loves to gobble fruits like banana, papaya, guava, apple, in that order of preference. He likes non veg like chicken, fish, eggs. Rice is not preferred, but likes to have rice kanji. He likes to have chappatis, esp. aloo parathas.
Another change I noticed is he doesn't like taking his medicines. Earlier, he used to open his mouth readily for a dose of medicine and eager to take even more. Now, that’s changed.
He is not at all potty trained. Right now, I am trying to potty train him by removing his diapers. Unless we are out & during nights, he doesn't wear diapers.

My baby is slowly going away from being chubby and I m not liking it. Yes, it’s natural for him to grow, yet I love to cuddle him always like he was a baby. Some problems are getting faded away, and maybe some new are forming. Parenting is a challenging job...

Little Acts of Humanity

2010-09-02T10:01:00.002+05:30

Last weekend we spent at Kerala. We had an engagement ceremony to attend at Cochin and we drove from Kollam (hubby's place) to attend the same. It was 6 PM when we started back to Kollam. It's a pretty long drive. To make the drive 'un' pleasurable, the national highway is also not in a very good shape. It was 7:30 PM. After a cup of coffee at KTDC hotel, Alapuzha, we started our drive back home.

Suddenly, a collision was heard few meters ahead of us. Ajiyos said, "Its an accident". Soon, the guy involved in the accident was laid straight in the road. Locals tried to stop the first car. They drove away. They tried to stop the second car. They also drove away. Ours was the third car. Ajiyos said, that we were ready to take him to hospital, provided, someone responsible came along with us. Before we could complete the second clause, the injured was placed in the backseat. He was fully conscious, but couldn't bear with the pain. He was crying to take him to hospital. Ajiyos repeated, unless someone responsible came along, we will not take the car. We were new to Alapuzha, so its obviously difficult for us to search for a hospital. The injured was moaning in pain, asking somebody to come along. Finally, a guy came along to show the hospital. It was a 20 minute drive to the hospital. He was placed in the emergency ward. All the while the boy, who was a 10th standard student, was wailing, "ente kaalu, ente kaalu poi" (My Leg, my leg is gone). He was saying "Thanks uncle" several times to Ajiyos.
At the hospital, Ajiyos told me come out of the car and look if anybody is taking anything from the car. Because, even at such times of emergency, people tend to steal something from the car. We later told that we had to drive back to Kollam, which is another 90 kms to our home, so we couldn't wait. We started back home. We reached home at around 10:30 PM. The extra time lost was around 20 minutes. Ajiyos said it actually doesn't take hours to help an accident victim, hardly around few minutes; yet, people don't stand by to help the victim and in stead drive away from the victim.

I have to admit that Ajiyos acted pretty responsibly by willing to take the victim, by telling that someone responsible should accompany the victim, and by telling me to look if somebody was taking anything from the car. Yes hubby, I am proud of you...

Daffodils

2010-08-16T12:42:00.004+05:30

My office is celebrating the Independence day today. As an invite to the occasion, the poem of Tagore ("Where the mind is without fear") was sent along with the invite. It made me remind of my school days when I sang this song for a recitation competition.
I also had sung the Daffodils poem by William Wordsworth for another recitation competition. I revisited the poem once again today. Surprisingly, I remembered the modulation of the poem recitation well. It brought me back a smile.

I wish I were...

2010-08-10T16:46:00.005+05:30

...a Man!
Yes, I am a woman, yet, I sometimes wish I were a man.
- I could walk freely without fear any time during the night and day.
- I could stay with my parents or ask my parents to stay with me even if I m married.
- I don't have to do the mundane daily chores like washing, cleaning, cooking or even supervise.
- I could have absolute time for myself without having to worry about whether the house is clean or meals are prepared.
- I could get a cup of tea early morning from my wife without me having to even enter kitchen.
- I could wake up late in the mornings not a bit of worry about breakfast to be prepared.
- I don't have to worry about the monthly pains on 'those five days'.
- I don't have to undergo the labor pain which comes during childbirth.

Sometimes, I think, it is because of Eve that we women have such problems. Oh Eve, why did you eat that apple?...

Reflections...

2010-07-29T15:06:00.006+05:30

Yesterday, hubby & I were watching a hindi movie. It had the wife dying and the husband reminiscing the days he spent with the wife. Hubby suddenly called me and asked me to sit by his side. Then he remarked, "I have got used to you. The constant nagging that you do every morning to go to office, what's life without that?"

Oh my, I felt special! Wondering which other husband will accept nagging from his wife. Anyway, mine does(of course, to some extent!)...

Reflections...

2010-07-12T14:54:00.004+05:30

When you join a new organisation, you see only the good things of the organisation. Down the line, after years in the organisation, you see things in wrong shade...

Change is so difficult to accept and yet the only thing constant in life. When you are comfortable with an organisation, it is so tempting to remain in the same organization than to move out for a better career...

Lucky Again

2010-07-08T12:15:00.004+05:30

Yesterday, I was fastening Hani in the car seat. I have habit of putting my mobile on top of the car(yeah! a wild place!) when fastening Hani in the back of the car. Without realising the mobile on the top, I started the car and sped off from the office campus. Few metres down, a man was waving his hands fervently towards me. I thought wildly, had I hit him accidently? Not directly, but perhaps the side mirror hit him or so. Or was he drunk? He started running behind the car and while, I was driving, I was focusing on the back. The car actually began going towards the right and I didn't realise until I looked front! Then I stopped the car and decided to confront him. I stopped in front a man who was talking over his phone. He saw my mobile phone on the top of the car and gave it to me. I was astonished. Then I realised, perhaps the man was running to inform me of my phone. And I didn't even realise it. He caught up with me and gave a wide grin showing his stained teeth and gestured "What ma?" with his hands. Thank you was all that I could say to him.
Lessons learnt:
1) Not all people are bad. Some can be good to you.
2) I don't drive fast enough. Slow is good.
3) Do not keep mobile phone or anything on top of the car.
4) While driving, concentrate on the front.

Hani Tales - 9

2010-07-08T10:18:00.003+05:30

Hani goes hiding these days. He hides behind curtains. And then giggles to his heart's content when we find him in surprise. When I am about to dress him after his bath, he runs behind curtains and hides.
Discovery part of Haniel - Yesterday, as usual, he was watching nursery rhymes in the laptop. The laptop is placed on a table and Hani sits in the bed watching it. The battery went low and red light beemed as a caution. I plugged the charger to the laptop. The battery light turned white. Hani, all this while was watching me. He got down from his bed. He switched off the charger. He came around to see the warning light. It was red. Later on, he switched it on. The warning light turned white. It was funny to see his inquisitiveness behind the red and white lights...

Comparisons...

2010-07-06T17:32:00.005+05:30

Yesterday, hubby and I were discussing the prospects of buying a new car. Some of our friends were going in for a bigger car - sedan, SUV's etc. Hubby is in fact, happy to travel in Volvos, as they are a great comfort to travel in Bangalore's well known traffic laden roads. I take the car since I bring Hani to office. We were wondering whether we really need an 'extra car' or should we upgrade our small car to a bigger one. The 'extra' car or 'up gradation' came into picture when we saw that our friends were getting a bigger one. Otherwise, we were happy with the one which we have. It was serving the purpose. Even if we get a new car, perhaps, hubby might take travel in it for a day or two to office. And since, he has got used to the bus, he wouldn't use the car. Then what's the point in buying a new car?

This year, especially since the recession blues were getting over, attrition was high in my company. Many people were quitting for greener pastures. People who joined after me and along with me were leaving. Now, again, I was wondering to myself, should I look out for better opportunities or be satisfied with this company? Again, this thought came into picture only when I started comparing myself with my peers. Stop the comparison and if I do a realistic check, I find that besides the pay, the work-life balance that I get here, I might not get anywhere else. Not that I will not change from this company, but maybe after I really get bored working here.

One of my close relative, who was working in a small firm after graduation, got placed in a MNC recently. He was comparing himself with his peers who got placed in MNC well before him. They were earning much better than him. Naturally, since they joined earlier than him. First, it was the problem of getting into an MNC and now the comparison is between whose pay cheque is fatter!

Comparisons are good in the sense; at least it motivates us to perform better. However, with comparisons, sometimes, I feel we end up doing things which were really not necessary in our lives...

Hani Tales - 8

2010-06-30T15:07:00.005+05:30

Last night, Hani was given a bowl of mango pieces. Little one is very choosy about his meals these days. He is not very keen to have the usual rice bowl that we have everyday. Fruits, soups attract him. And mangoes, he loves them, exclaiming "Mango!" I sometimes wonder if he was a satvik in his previous birth.
So, little boss was given a bowl of mango pieces. He started picking one each and eating it. When he saw a serving spoon in the dining table lying idle, he picked it and started using it. On the way from the bowl to the mouth, few times the pieces fell down from the spoon to the table. He picked them with his hand, put it back to the bowl and picked the pieces once again with the spoon!
This was so funny to watch that we couldn't control ourselves from laughing!

Sunset...

2010-06-28T12:42:00.004+05:30

My background screen at my work desktop is Sunset.
These days, I am loving sunsets than sunrise.
Yes, I prefer going home than coming to office.
Isn't it beautiful to watch the sunset while having a cup of tea with hot vadas/pakodas? The evening sun going to sleep queitly, while giving a magical touch of reddish-orange color to the sky.
Best part of sunset is that you are back home with your loved ones...

Hani Tales - 7 contd...

2010-06-23T15:10:00.003+05:30

HI got back my purse, finally! Fortunately, it was safe in my wardrobe.

But, hubby told me to learn the discipline that Hani is illustrating.

Keep your bags and valuables safely instead of placing them irregularly.

And keep the wardrobes closed always. ( Yeh! we are little indisciplined, whose wardrobes are not closed properly and our bags keep lying here and there. Therefore, please do call us up before making a home visit, else be prepared for a shock).

Hani Tales - 7

2010-06-22T12:11:00.004+05:30

Motherhood is sometimes confusing and sometimes frustrating, too.
Yesterday evening, drinking water supply was not coming up at our house. Ajiyos was on his way back home from office and I was busy talking to the maintenance people and other neighbours, whether supply was coming at their places. Obviously, giving very little attention to Hani. Meanwhile, I also arranged to get a packaged water bottle as an alternative. The empty water bottle was lying on the floor. Hani was playing with the car key. I obviously did not notice that that he had dropped the key into the empty water bottle. He left the room smartly. The water boy came and replaced the water bottle. The water boy came and rang the bell again and handed over the key. Only then, did I realise, what the little one was upto! Oh My God & Thank God was all what I could utter.
And while I was dealing with the water boy, Hani in no time had pulled a chair and started experimenting in my wardrobe - like trying hard to push some moisturising lotion, analysing the nail polish bottle, playing with my hair clips and when I returned, lo, what do I see - my oil bottle poured all over him!

It's not done for the day until he scattered the peanuts that we were having with tea, all over the drawing room.

Today morning, we were waiting for the elevator to come to our floor, all set to go to office. When the elevator opened, a dog popped out. Its owner pulled it back. But, I was a little shocked and I screamed out loud "Ah!". Poor Hani, also got scared. He clung to his papa and did not try to befriend the dog(which he usually does). I was ashamed of myself, since I already read Padmajav's blog . Now, Hani will also fear dogs like I do. Hubby, however, comforted me, saying it's ok.

I reached office today morning and imagine my dismay when I found that my purse was missing. Haniel has a habit of investigating my bag on reaching home. Now, a thousand thoughts are going on in my mind - what if Hani put my purse in the dustbin or threw it over the balcony and what if we didn't know about it? Oh My God, my purse has all my cash cards and Id cards! Hope that doesn't happen!

Motherhood - Frustrating, Confusing, whatever!

Reflections...

2010-06-18T14:06:00.003+05:30

Mothers bear children in their wombs for 10 months.

Mothers deliver them after suffering for hours of labor pain.

Mothers feed children.

Mothers teach children.

Mothers make them study.

However, finally, it always the father's surname that is followed and never a mother's name.

Isn't it ridiculous?

Hani Tales - 6

2010-06-15T16:39:00.005+05:30

Recently, we as a family started to commute using BMTC buses are they are faster and comfortable. Thanks to the never - ending over bridge work, now that the railway crossing gates are forever closed. Hani, of course accompanies us. Today, I pulled out a hundred rupee note to get the bus ticket. Ajiyos pointed to the picture of Mahatma Gandhi on the note and asked Hani who the picture was. Hani quickly responded, "Appacha". We had a surprised laugh.
These days, whenever he needs anything, he calls out loud "Amma..." If he doesn't get any response, he then calls out "thouma".
One good thing that is that he demands milk now. He says, "Paalu tha".
Yesterday, he learnt a new word - Thank you. He was repeating the word "Thank you" to everybody.
When he drank some rasam yesterday, I asked him "is it nice?". He nodded his head in affirmation.
Recently, he has started this habit of saying "ngha?" to whatever we say. For example, if I say, you should not climb on to the table. He responds back by saying "ngha?". His way of telling "ngha" is so funny.

Reflections...

2010-06-14T14:49:00.003+05:30

"namude makkalu jeevithathinte sandershkar aayi marunne kalam aanu ithu"
Translated as "Our children are becoming guests of our life in today's world".
I caught this line from a malayalam movie, which I recently saw.
This is another liner.
We are just carriers for bringing our children from heaven to earth.

Hani Tales - 5

2010-06-09T11:28:00.003+05:30

These days, Hani has started to imitate us. Like, if his father calls out to me by my name, he imitates that "thouma". He can't get my name yet. As for his father's name, it is "Ajijos".

If the french windows are open, he rushes to the balcony, he loves to be in balcony, as the wind is breezy there and the climate at Bangalore is pretty good these days. He invites us, calling "Mee, ba"(Mummy, come). And pointing to the raised platform in the balcony says "sit".

When he goes out with his father to buy something, he says "Mee, ba". Then says, "bye, cee you".

He identifies each of his friends at his day care - yuvi, duv (for dhruv), baby.
Recently, his father had promised, while coming home, that he will take Hani out, after having evening tea. After tea, Hani was pestering his papa to take him out. Of course, we couldn't get his language. He then brought one shirt from the bedroom and gave it to his papa. Then, we understood, boss wanted to go out. Once we say, that we are going out, the next word is "papa, choes (for shoes)".

His vocab is building well, I can say. He keeps chattering in his baby language, that we hardly understand what he says.

If in car, if we (hubby & me) are discussing something, he interrupts ans calls "Mee" and "Pappa" intermittently.

He loves the "Kakke, Kakke" song, especially when I enact it. Similarly, when I ask what a lion is, he says "King", with his fists tightly closed and lifting his hand. It's a joy to watch that expression of his. And when I ask, who Hani or Haniel is, with both hands upon his chest, says, "Njana". These expressions are worth a picture to be captured. But, the sad part, when he does that, either he gets distracted by the camera or changes his expressions, before I capture.

I present here the "kakke kakke" song, lest I forget...

Kakke Kakke, koodu evide?

Koothinu agathu oru kunju undo?

Kunju inu theetha kodukkaanjaal

Kunju kidannu karanju iduum,

kunje kunje nee tharumo,

ninude kaiyil neiyappam,

Aiyyo, kakke paticho...

Hani Tales - 4

2010-05-29T21:51:00.004+05:30

Its another beautiful weekend and our little one has lots of things to explore.

1) We(hubby & me) were having our morning coffee. If Hani sees us having coffee or tea, he will want to have it, so we ask him to bring his cup. We then pour coffee from our cups to his. So, today was one such day. Hubby had already finished his cup. So, Hani was targeting my cup now. As usual, hubby asked Hani to bring his cup. Now that, hubby's cup was free, he brought it and indicated me to pour coffee into that!

2) Second thing that happened today - hubby was as usual lying down with this laptop in the bed. Hani, watching his papa with the laptop, climbed onto the bed, and sat on his papa's stomach, so he could see the laptop, in stead of papa.

3) Of late, Hani has developed a habit - he takes our mobile phone or pretends having a phone and says "hallo, hallo", then says "ok" and then says, "bye", all the while walking. Today, we found hubby's mobile phone in the kitchen platform. Little boss had placed it over there after his "little conversation" over the phone.

4) Hani loves to see the top of kitchen platform, often reaches it either by pulling in a chair or prompting us to hold him. Today, he found another way - he pulled out the lowest cabinet of kitchen, stood on top of it, so that he can have a view.

5) One more little thing, that happened today was - Ajiyos was directing me to use an extension cable for TV, as direct connection was giving some problem. Hani, imitated his papa and spoke in his baby language to bring the extension cable.

Happiness is the best word to describe the feeling on being with Haniel. Happy and Handsome Haniel...

Hani Tales - 3 contd...

2010-05-28T11:21:00.004+05:30

Yesterday night, I was applying moisturising lotion. I was applying to my feet, hands and then my face. Hani took a chunk of it from my hand, imitating me, applied on his legs, when I was doing on my feet, on his hands, when I was doing on my hands, and finally, on his face, when I was applying on my face.

Imitation in beauty!

Hani Tales - 3

2010-05-27T23:20:00.003+05:30

So, what did Hani do today?

Well, after the drive back home, I looked at Hani, who was sat in his car seat and said "So, Hani, we are back home. Hani nodded his head in confirmation. The way he nodded was a delight to watch. As elders nod their head in saying a "yes". It made me laugh.

The second thing that happened today evening was again, hubby was as usual having his share of ice cream after dinner. Hani saw this and brought a bowl from the kitchen platform and asked for his share. And Papa was generous enough to give Hani his share from the freezer. And he beautifully had ice cream without spilling. Wish if he had his food also in such a beautiful manner.

Hani Tales - 2

2010-05-26T11:27:00.003+05:30

Would love to note down everything that Hani does, yet, the same old story of time 'mis'management does not allow me to do it.

Yesterday, after dinner, hubby took out a scoop of ice cream for himself. Seeing that, I also felt like having some. So, even I took a scoop for myself. Now, all the while, Hani was watching us. Hani, who was sitting until now, got up and followed me. I was standing and adjusting my laptop, so that I can read it even, while having my ice cream. Hani began to pat at the bed near by, "Immy, sit, Immy sit" For a while, I did not follow what he was saying. He was pointing to the bed and patting on it. Then, I realised, little boss wanted me to sit, so that the ice cream was also reachable to him...

Hani Tales - 1

2010-05-20T00:54:00.003+05:30

Long time since I thought I should begin with a series on Haniel dear. Primarily to record his activities or mischiefs that he does on a day. So, what did Hani do today?

1) He poured out half the bottle of my moisturising lotion. The bottle was placed in a rack in the bedroom. He pushed the chair from the dining room to the bedroom, got on top of it and then took the bottle. After pouring to the lotion to his legs. He applied all over his body. His face, body, legs were covered with white lotion.

2) Today evening, he was wearing only a diaper. He saw Papa's mobile phone lying on the floor. He took it and tucked it in his diaper, just like his papa does.

My First Drive...

2010-04-12T11:05:00.000+05:30

Yesterday, I drove all by myself to the nearest Safal store, around 6 kms from our house.
Previously, hubby used to accompany me when I was driving.
Thank you hubby for having trust in me that I will not hurt anybody when I drive.
Best part of me driving alone, I felt independant...

Reflections...

2010-02-17T14:08:00.002+05:30

I saw her car parked at my apartment basement when I left for work.

I saw her car parked at my office parking when I was taking a stroll during lunch hour.

I saw her playing with her son when I came back from work.

Hmm, now that's called a work-life balance!

Reflections...

2010-02-03T13:29:00.002+05:30

Wonder why we like to be retired from work when we are employed, and like to be employed when we retire from work.

To Work or Not to Work...

2010-01-29T16:10:00.005+05:30

We reached my office. Hani was sitting on my lap from the time we started from home. It has become a sort of habit, Hani usually sits on my lap when I am in the car, else, he sits quietly in his carseat. When we reached my office, Hani realized I will be getting down soon. He turned around and hugged me for some time. He remained in my arms for a while, after which, I fastened him in his car seater. I lowered the windows and opened the door from outside (the child lock is always on). I planted a kiss on his forehead and said a "bye". He responded "bye" cheerfully by waving his hand. I do feel bad that I m leaving him and going to work. But, then, is there any other choice? Not that I cannot take a break from work, but women who are working in Government sectors, the underprivileged women whose family solely depends on her income, don't take a break, isn’t it? They have to keep it going, irrespective of whether they are married or have a child.
When I took a long vacation (15 days is a luxury!) last year, I found it is lovely to be a housewife. You have so much of time at your disposal. You can read, browse internet, cook, sleep, and watch television at leisure. But, I also realized, suppose, I don't work; the luxuries that I have now, will be void or lessened. Life is such an irony. If I work, I don't have time to enjoy the luxuries and if I don't, I don't have money to buy the luxuries. Today, when I go to a supermarket, I have the money to purchase a new chocolate, for example. However, the chocolate remains in my refrigerator, until I find it untouched when cleaning the refrigerator one day. There are so many days, this has happened.
To work or not to work is often a choice for women, while men do not have that choice (But today, I guess, there are daddies who look after children and home, while mommies earn the bread). Recently, I read an article in the newspaper. The title was "Why women, career and marriage don't go hand in hand". The article says 25% women quit their jobs after getting married. A higher percentage quit after childbirth. And those who keep working either have a disturbed marital life or their children are unstable. Women find it difficult to balance between career and personal lives which makes them to decide on choosing personal life. From my experience, when I was not married, I would work late in my office, almost on a daily basis. When I got married, things did change, however, I continued to work late nights when work demanded. And now when I am a mother, I still do the same, thanks to the support of hubby dear. He took care of Hani when I was working at odd hours.
Working in a private firm with odd working hours is the real bane of working women. If women have jobs with fixed working hours, then, there is no harm for a woman to pursue her career. Of course, since women are considered equal to men, these days, this is not feasible as it sounds. However, the other options could be work from home options, having a crèche facility at workplace, etc. I have heard that in the US, people work 40 hours a week. They enjoy their weekends thoroughly and they stick to their work hours strictly. I have also heard and experienced that it is only in India and east asian countries like Japan, Korea, people exaggerate their working hours from 40 to 60 hours a week, sometimes, even longer.
Some people send their children to their parents place. Well, I am not in favor of this idea. As parents, we should take care of our children. I have no qualms if our parents are staying with you. But, distancing yourself from your child is not good idea, I feel.
Keeping nannies at home are proving to be dearer. With stories of nannies renting babies as beggars coming in newspapers, nannies are scary to hire.
The only option left is to put them in day cares. The downside is that babies catch infections often in day cares.

Well, infancy and toddlers are stages of life. I hope things get better, when children grow up...

On Haniel

2010-01-18T15:55:00.005+05:30

Three things, which Hani did yesterday, made me to post today:

1) All by himself, he climbed on to the dining table chair, without falling, and sat very comfortably on it. That way, he can access the items on the dining table without our help now. Hmm, so, need to ensure that there is nothing breakable on dining table henceforth.

2) There is a slide in the park, which is quite high. Hani climbed the stairs and came down the slide very comfortably, which amazed us.

3) The third thing is that he danced to a tune being played on TV, yesterday. This really amazed us, since we did not know he could dance his steps. The video is captured in punchiri.

Brand New Year 2010...

2010-01-15T14:50:00.003+05:30

It's another brand new year. Last December, I had a lovely time. Last 15 days of December, I took off from work to be with Hani. He was sick with running nose and cold. Medication was not helping either. So, I decided to isolate him from day care, where he is prone to infection, for some days. I was wondering if I can take a 15 day vacation to be with Hani, every year. Hani has learnt to say "tata" or "bye" by waving his hand. Hani can now say "ka ka" when we say "kaka" for crow. Hani responds to a dog with "bow bow". He has now started to pay attention to ad jingles appearing on television. If he is at kitchen and if his favorite ad is being played on tv, he rushes to the living room to watch it. Hani talks gibberish now. He is also growing stubborn. On the positive side, he gets along well with people. When we tell him to dance, he rotates himself. At his daycare, a dance trainer teaches them dance. Of course, its very young to dance. The daycare also teach them to paint or scribble.
One change this year is that, I have grown fond of cooking now. Earlier, I had a cook. And now, I am the cook of my house. It's a delight to hear when hubby says, your sambhar is great or your crab curry was good. The best part is his plate looks clean after mealtime. Which was not so when the cook made food. The leftovers have reduced considerably.I have also realised the power of microwave cooking, I am yet to explore its full potential. Last Christmas was great, in terms of the food items I prepared and the first cake that I baked. Well, I should say, I have grown fond of cooking after making a visit to the cooking blog - Mishmash. The pictures are truly tantalizing and the way the recipe is presented is also great. I have tried some of those dishes and it turned out to be good. Hubby was all in praise, when I packed Chicken Biriyani for lunch one day. Some of her listed dishes are traditional Keralite ones, specifically Orthodox Christian fares. Well, would love to continue trying her recipes...

Another resolution I would like to keep is to keep this blog alive at least by posting one in a month...

On Haniel - 1 year!

2009-09-18T15:22:00.005+05:30

Hard to believe, but yes, Hani (Appu) dear has completed one year on earth last Saturday. I still remember the day when a tiny baby weighing over 3 kilos was brought to me. His length used to be from my elbow till my hand. His eyes were closed. And now, he has started standing! Time flies so fast. Being a working mom has its own disadvantages. Hardly do I get time to record the important events during this one year. Well, with whatever I can, I wish to remember those precious and wonderful days, which unfortunately will not come back again.

Usually, when Hani dear returns back from day care, I am at home. His face brightens up with a large smile on seeing me, that it is hard not to pick him up. He is a camera friendly person, who instantly smiles when in front of the camera. His main workstation still remains the kitchen, where he pulls out the drawers and takes the vessels out from there. He then, makes noise from the vessels. He enjoys those moments when we spend time playing with him. When hubby and me are sitting together and if he is at a distance, he rushes to us with a smile. He simply loves us to be together. That is evident from the wide smile that he gives, on seeing us together. Whenever we raise our voice against each other, he looks at us very seriously, with a look that something is wrong. He can understand things around him, though he hasn't started to speak,yet, other than ma ma ma, pa pa pa, tha tha tha,cha cha cha.

He recognizes the potrait of Jesus when we ask him where Jesus is. He recognizes fan, light, clock, ball, balloon when asked where they are. He loves playing with his ball. One good thing is that he doesn't enjoy television, wish that continues. He loves to play with laptop, plucking its keys. Of course, his dad doesn't like that! Our telephone handset is never at it place. Culprit obviously, is our little one. Music is something that distracts him. The other day, when my father was humming a tune, our little one listened to it, distracting him from his toy play, for a while. He walks few steps now. However, still prefers to crawl, coz' its faster!. Hani dear is certainly a naughty fellow, loves to remain in my lap and play with me forever. With strangers, he is uncomfortable in the beginning, but mingles really well after sometime. He loves to meet people. Food - No, he doesn't like the special food prepared for him, in stead, loves to eat whatever food that we adults eat, be it mirchi or sweet. And the best part is, until now, there has been no big problem to feed him. That is, he is not fussy about food. Wish even that doesn't change.

Its a delight to watch my baby grow. But again it is sad that those old days aren't coming back, however will remain as pleasant memories. And myself, I am enjoying every moment of motherhood...

Haniel - Meaning

2009-08-24T18:17:00.004+05:30

hLot of our friends had asked us about the meaning of Haniel. So, here is the meaning below:
Haniel the Archangel, Tranformation and Reality Shift Angel
Haniel is an amazing angel who for some reason isn’t as well-known to most people as his counterparts Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael. Haniel is an archangel who has tremendous power to exorcise negative elements from a person’s life. Perhaps there is a manipulative person who has been draining you of vital energy. Call upon Haniel and ask him to shield you from this person. He’ll help you bypass this person’s chaotic energy. Or maybe there are negative patterns in your thinking, self-destructive programs you want to get rid of. Haniel can clear these energy patterns from your mental body. Haniel’s presence can be felt as calming, serene energy which helps you clear out mental and emotional debris. He boosts you with good feelings and brings good cheer to homes, apartments, or hospitals which seem to have a thick, dense energy clinging to them.

Reflections

2009-05-22T12:44:00.000+05:30

Wondered why some mothers sacrificed their career, to look after their children. Its because , children brought up under mothers-at-home, are much better than children brought-up under working mothers.

On Haniel - 8 months past

2009-04-11T09:24:00.004+05:30

After a short hiatus of almost half an year, I am back with a post...A lot of things occurred during this period. And, it's really hard to jot all of them in one post. I joined back work months back. Unlike most mothers who most often take an extended vacation for nurturing their newly born babies until they are considerably older, I went back to work when my baby turned 3 months. Yeah, though a tough decision, but I believe, it someway helped in one way or the other. My baby, Haniel can now sit with anybody and doesn't seem to have any stranger anxiety until now. In fact, we faced no trouble when we admitted him to the day care recently. He mingled with the nurses really fine...

Haniel can now crawl really fast, stand with support, eat anything that's non spicy. One thing however, that has not changed is that he requires the attention of somebody, always. He is cheerful with anybody, lends out an easy smile. In the evening, when we go to pick him from the day care, it is a delight to watch him jump with joy in our hands. Essentially, an indication that shows it thrills him to see us back. He started to utter "ma", "pa".
Once, when I was busy with some work at home. So, I had asked my hubby to take care of him. He withheld from his father's hands and started to crawl , calling out "Ma,ma". I guess that was one magical moment that I had in the recent times.
When we sing rhymes, he at once looks into our direction. Sometimes he nods his head in tune with the rhyme.
Parenting is a huge responsibility. Bringing up an individual is actually a scary one. I have started to feel that God has given me a wonderful baby and its our responsibility as parents to nurture him the way God wanted him to be...

On Haniel - Two months Past...

2008-11-15T00:01:00.006+05:30

My baby turned 2 months on 12th Nov. So many things have happened over the past two months and it's hard to remember them now. Haniel has started to smile back whenever we smile at him. There were times when it was difficult to capture his smiling picture, because he used to change his expressions rapidly by the time the camera captures. Today, he smiles very easily. And his smile is so infectious that one can't help smiling back. It's such a heavenly feeling. The days hovering over his 56 - 60th days, he set out a pattern. He gets up at around 6-6:30 in the morning and stays awake for more than 2 hours. He remains in a playful mood, smiling to his heart's content during this time. Eventually he goes to sleep after 2 hours of staying awake. He stays awake all through afternoon and during nights he sleeps blissfully without disturbing much.

Haniel enjoys his body massage. He seldom cries when I massage his body. He loves it when a gentle massage is given at the palm of his hand or sole of his feet.

My baby also enjoys his hot water bath. He stays quiet over the entire bath. He seldom cries.

Haniel has started to make few sounds sounding like ngaa, gha,ga and so on. We often felt he was trying to communicate with us. He responds when we reciprocate with the same sounds that he makes. He stays very active at times, by kicking his legs hard and shaking his hands as if he is driving.

He loves to be under the warmth of someone. He also likes to lean over the shoulder of whoever is holding him and see the world around him.

If there is no one in the room where he is present, he starts to make noises calling for attention. Once somebody starts to talk with him, he stops abruptly. He needs company when he is awake.

These days he has started to hold things mildly like holding on Ajay's shirt or to Ajay's nose. He also seems to listen to whatever we say. He listens quietly to the stories or songs that we sing to him. When we say "Smile" couple of times, he responds by smiling back. His attention gets diverted when the fan in the ceiling starts rotating. He also gets diverted whenever the camera is clicked.

Our vacation at Chennai is coming to an end by this week. Soon we will be leaving for his paternal home and from there to Bangalore - where he was born...

On Babies...

2008-11-05T22:45:00.009+05:30

The other day, Haniel(that's how we have named our baby!) was sucking his hand. That's one of his indication of showing that he is hungry. I took out his hand and gently said "No, monu. No sucking fingers". Only then, I realized babies knew nothing. They do not know to say or express or even understand what a 'No' or a 'Yes' is. All they do at this age is to cry, cry and cry more harder to communicate everything from having food to going to the loo. And we have the hard task of interpreting their often confusing cries and catering to what they really need.
If they are hungry, they cry.
If their diapers need to be changed, they cry.
If their stomachs ache, they cry.
If they are irritated with something, they cry.
If a mosquito bites them, they do not know to scratch the irritated skin.
They can't reach upto their toes, in fact not even to their knees.
If they are feeling cold, they cry.
If they are feeling hot, they cry.
If they want to sleep, they cry. Babies need to be rocked to sleep.
If they look at a mirror, they do not know their image.

Their cries can mean so many things.
My baby is has completed 60 days on earth. And I have to be realistic that it takes time, months or perhaps even years for him to utter a word. Yet, when I think of all the things that I need to teach him,it seems mind boggling. Perhaps, learning is a natural process and I really may not have to worry about it much...

Mother, At last!

2008-09-25T16:25:00.001+05:30

I rocked my new born to sleep before proceeding for lunch. Having had lunch, I went back to check if my baby had woken up.Probably, I must have shaken the bed hard, he woke up with a sudden jerk and started wailing hard. I could understand clearly from his cries that it was not for food. He was scared or rather shocked. I held him in my hands, closer to my chest and voila, his wails stopped abruptly. It seemed my touch or presence stopped his wails like magic. This was such a wonderful feeling that I cannot express it in words.
Yes, I became a mother finally on 12th Sept. 2008, an important day for Malayalees all around the world. My baby was born on Onam - as if King Mahabali himself had landed in my arms. I owe all my gratitude to the team of doctors under Dr. Annamma of St. John's Medical College Hospital, who did a splendid job of making my delivery considerably easy. I also owe to my cousin who had her delivery here last year, who had good opinion on Dr. Annamma. Also to mention my mother and hubby who were throughout with me during labour. My baby who was due on 10th September according to hospital records, actually arrived two days later. Perhaps with an intention of arriving on Onam as an Onam gift. He is such a beautiful gift that the two day delay was worth waiting...

Inspirations...

2008-07-30T13:54:00.002+05:30

I have a cousin who was born and brought up in Mumbai. She is married and has a year old daughter, currently settled in UK. She was working prior to marriage and for some months post marriage. However, when her husband got an onsite assignment to UK, she quit, to join her husband. This cousin of mine has inspired me today to write a post.
Didi(as I address her) has transformed from a young professional lady to a full time home maker so much that she is even inspiring me to take up home making. No, not by her words, but by her actions and thoughts. The way she is enjoying motherhood is so tempting that I feel even I might be tempted to quit work to enjoy motherhood.
Often, some people have perceptions that girls brought up in cities do not turn not to be good mothers as they are equally qualified like boys and take up jobs after their education. But didi turned out to be very different. Yes, she does have a modern perspective about parenting which I feel, is helping her daughter tremendously. Her little baby is a little over a year old and she has already started to sing rhymes and recite numbers from 1 to 10. One might be tempted to think that "Oh this must be one of the forceful parents!". The truth is the little baby is just growing inquisitive without any pressure from its parents. The parents are just providing a viable environment to nurture the inquisitiveness. Through didi's blogs, what I could decipher is that she is enjoying each and every moment of motherhood enormously.
She feels her daughter is growing extremely fast and she might soon start to miss out the baby talk.
Can a woman enjoy motherhood so much? Is it such an exciting experience? I dunno. Perhaps, when I become a mother, I might understand.
All I have to do is to wait and watch...
(P.S: Days are getting pretty closer...6 more weeks to go!)

Countdown begins at 10...

2008-07-02T14:24:00.005+05:30

10 more weeks to go,
10 * 7 days to go,
10 * 7 * 24 * 7 hours to go...
The countdown has begun...It's been a really long wait...
People have now started noticing me and are quite surprised when I tell them its only 10 more weeks to go...
Loose dresses, plans at work, plans at home, fortnightly doctor visits, super nutritious diet , lots of prayers - all contributing their part towards the BIG D-DAY...
Yup, God has chosen me and my hubby to be a part of a creation – creation of a human life – from its single cell form to a fully grown form.
It has to be God’s blessing to bestow on us with the power of creating a life.
Experiencing the last few weeks and anticipating with wonder, curiosity and marvel as to what our little bundle of joy is going to turn out to be, who would be answering lot of our present unanswered questions…
- Is it going to be a girl or a boy?
- Will it look like me or hubby?
- Will it recognize my voice?
- Will it do that? Will it do this?
The list goes on and on…
Fortunately, things are going good these days. My project is coming to a close before I go for my leave. Work is going in at a relaxation pace. A full time servant has been managing from the home front. It’s really a boon that we got her at the right time. Hubby dear is taking extra care of me by staying close, when I need him the most.
Fatigue has spread all over me this week. Kicks of the baby have been vibrant all along this week. Discomforts are many to speak of, yet the magic, the thrill of holding a life, overcomes all of them…

Reflections...

2008-06-09T20:50:00.002+05:30

Wonder why do educated youth indulge in smoking knowing very well that it could lead to a deadly disease called cancer? Is it the confidence on the current medical science that it will cure cancer at any stage? Or the confidence that the cancer will never hit them?

Reflections

2008-04-21T14:53:00.001+05:30

A girl's life is more often a dog's life. Unless, she decides her destiny herself, which of course happens, only once in a blue moon.

Reflections

2008-04-16T13:39:00.001+05:30

Just thought of putting in some thoughts that cross my brain randomly. I am naming them as "Reflections"
1) Value of a person is never known until we lose them. The same goes for everything in life - be it relatives, relationships,health, job... It seems so ironical that we bother less about people when they are around, and when they leave us forever, we tend to recollect their memories(especially, the good ones).
2) Receiving a personal mail makes a person feel good, however, the same person doesn't take the effort to write one. Of course, replies might have been sent. However, it seems as if we asked ourselves for the replies. Yet, at least a reply mail received is better than no mail...

On Death...

2008-03-14T15:11:00.002+05:30

Last January, my cousin brother succumbed to the life taking disease called cancer. He was working as a senior manager at Oracle. The last time when he talked to my parents, he had remarked that he might come back to life or he might leave this world forever. He suffered pain for almost 3-4 months due to cancer. He had won the battle against cancer once, which gave him another 9 years of life. However, this time, nothing could be done; the attack had been more severe. My parents had talked to him couple of times during his last days. What I inferred from them is that he knew there is a world waiting for him (after death). What he couldn't bear was the pain of waiting. Cancer was probably giving him excruciating pain which he was finding it difficult to bear each day. Perhaps, he knew he couldn't escape from it, this time. He planned everything - handed the keys/documents that were to be given back to his office, to his wife, wrote his property will, decided upon his funeral/burial and perhaps so many other things.

What I amazed is the fact, how many of us can plan our death in such a way. On most of occasions, our death is so sudden leaving our loved ones perplexed, confused and in a state of shock. They may include simple housewives with little children, who wouldn't come out from their houses, because, their husbands used to run behind all household errands; husbands with little children who had their wives running their houses efficiently. Besides the loss of physical presence, people are affected financially as well. Especially when the primary bread winner of the family passes away so suddenly that it is often the immediate family members, who were dependant on them, who suffer the most. Yet, these very family members, after the loss, come back to terms with life. Life has to move on...

I often wonder what was going through my cousin's mind during his last days. Especially when he thought, another world was waiting for him after death. Every human being is put on this world for a period of time. During this time, they learn to talk, walk, sleep, study, work, marry, have children, do their schooling, complete their college education, get them married, be grandparents and retire from work and life. The cycle of life then moves on to the next generation.

What happens after death? Is it a whole new life all together? As Christians, the general belief is to have an eternal life after death. That is, there is no death in a Christian's life. For the deeds done by the Christian during his/her lifetime on earth, he/she will be rewarded a life accordingly. After his/her time on earth, it's perhaps another life in the Kingdom of God.

However, I have also heard some stories, where in, some people who had been declared dead medically, coming back to life! One such story I have heard was about a person who met with an accident in one of the Gulf countries. He was declared dead and moved to a mortuary before sending his ‘dead body’ to his relatives. A cleaner or a nurse who happened to visit the mortuary after few hours, observed that the body seemed to be moving. The hospital was alerted and the 'dead man' was rescued. Now, I don't ascertain that this is a true incident as I myself, heard it from a third person.

Other stories I have heard are some people who claim to have seen God, while they were dead, before coming back to life. Or is it that people hallucinate that they met God while they were ‘dead’.

Is it a new world or is it meeting up with God or is it a dark scary world after death?
I sometimes wonder will I come back to life after being buried into earth.
What if I was sleeping deeply and people mistook me to be dead and buried me inside earth?
How will I then communicate to the whole world that I am alive? Will my voice ever be heard outside?
Like they show in some movies, will I stay on earth as a wandering spirit, trying my best to communicate to my beloved ones, but they can neither see nor hear me, since I am dead?
Or will I have memory on who I was when on earth, since memory cells die with a person?
Or will I see a bright light after death, again as they show in some movies, that will pull me due to its strong gravitational force to another whole new world?

Death remains scary, despite the irony that nobody is eternal on earth...

Count your blessings...

2007-12-08T23:37:00.003+05:30

It's a chilled Saturday morning. It was already past 8 am. I had not woken up yet. I was cuddled under the warmth of protective thick blankets. Bangalore was getting colder day by day. As a result, I was reluctant to get out from my bed. The doorbell rang exactly at 8 am. The house maid had come on time to start off with her work. She started off by sweeping the floors of each room and went on to do the rest of her chores. All the while, I was still under the warmth of my blanket. Soon, she finished off her chores and informed me that she was leaving.
"Tresa, will you be coming after 10?", I called to her sleepily.
"Yes, akka", she replied back.
The time was around 8:45 am. I again went about for a second round of sleep. Finally, I woke up at 9:30. I then, got up, prepared tea and started off preparing breakfast.
As promised, Tresa came after 10. Tresa is our house maid. She works for another house as a maid. I asked her to start ironing our bunch of crumpled clothes. She started off doing the job.
Tresa looked weak and pale to me.
"Are you not well, Tresa?", I asked her.
"Yes, akka, it's cold. Every night, I can't talk because of the pain near my neck. My neck gets all swollen up during night.", Tresa explained.
"Didn't you show it to doctor?"
"Doctor told me not to bathe in cold water. She also suggested I take a daily dose of injection. Each injection costs about a hundred rupees."
"Do you still bath in cold water?", I asked her.
"No choice, akka."
"How can you bath in cold water in this chilled climate? You will end up losing your health in this process."
"There is not even sufficient figs to cook food, akka. Forget about bathing."
I was not surprised to hear that. We have a water heater at home. Little do we realise that the hot water that I use for a comfortable bath could be a luxury for some.

Once when I was throwing some leftovers into the dustbin.
When Tresa saw this, she remarked, "Akka, can you give me the leftovers"?
"Tresa, they must be spoilt."
"That's okay, akka. You give me whatever leftovers are there. I will take them. There are so many nights when I don't get to have dinner at all."
From then on, all leftovers went into the hands of Tresa.

Tresa is just lucky that she at least has a small time job to support her. Tresa is currently working for two houses. She used to work for a supermarket before. However, that required her to speak in english - a language she was not proficient at or rather, doesn't know. Educated upto 7th grade in a Tamil Medium school, she was forced to quit schooling.There are many Tresas around us who run errands to make a living.

The basic amenties that we take for granted seems to be so valuable for people like Tresa. I remember once, when one of my team mates was cribbing about the kind of work that he was currently put into. For sometime, even I felt, perhaps what he is speaking off, is right. However, what the collegue of mine doesn't realise is that he is lucky enough to at least have a job. There are so many educated and qualified graduates who are still in search of their first jobs. Many work in smaller firms to just gain work experience, without any pay. Besides a job, there are so many other things I realised how much blessed I am. Parents, education, communication skills, job, siblings, husband and much much more.

If only the collegue of mine could realise that there are so many educated youths who are constantly on look out for a suitable opening to start of their career, he could realise that he himself is in a much much better position.

Just like the famous song goes by...
Count your many blessings, name them one by one
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done...

"Bullshit Bangalore Traffic"

2007-11-01T16:55:00.000+05:30

This week I joined office after a week long hiatus. And no, I was not having a vacation. I was down with fever accompanied with low blood pressure. But, I could term it as a vacation, as I went to my parents' place, which is rare these days, :(. Anyway, I decided to start from office early, the day I joined. So, I took the first bus to my home, which starts off by 6:45 PM. My home is about 20-25 kms from my office. Usually, in an ideal city with well regulated traffic, a commute of 20-25 km should not take more than 45 minutes or at the maximum of one hour. However, "namma Bengaluru" traffic is so popular that it takes normally about one and half hours to commute such a short distance. And on that particular day, it took about 2 hours and 10 minutes to commute! Which means, I reached home at around 9 PM. I was wondering on the causes of such a delay -
Was it raining heavily? No.
Are the roads bad? No.
Were there any road blockers/religious processions? No.
Was there any accident? No.
Were there any bus breakdowns/vehicle breakdowns? No.
What else, could be the reason for the traffic? Is it simply, because, there are lots of vehicles(especially, four wheelers) in the roads?
The simple reason is that traffic is not at all regulated in Bangalore.
One ways, flyovers, Volvo buses are part of the road infrastructure of Bangalore, provided mainly towards easing the traffic. Roads, when compared to some other cities of India, are the best, in Bangalore. Yet, if the problem of traffic exists, then its simpy because, it's not properly managed here. I have thought of couple of solutions. I dunno whether any of them is really feasible. Yet...
1) Timer at the traffic signals is set to 2-3 minutes. That's really a ridiculous setting! Obviously, vehicles will pile up on the road within 2-3 minutes. Being four wheelers, when the signal goes green, starting four wheelers and putting them to the first gear will take time and the long pile of vehicles will certainly take more than 2-3 minutes to clear. One solution would be to set the timer to say 45 seconds- 1 minute. Thereby, vehicles keep getting cleared quicker.
2) Provide dividers in road, so that vehicles do not overtake. What happens at certain places is that, vehicles waiting at a traffic signal tend to overtake and cover whole of the road(in roads where there aren't any dividers). As a result, vehicles who are given a green signal to move though the narrow road.
3) Providing six lane roads whereever possible, especially in places, where there are more right/left turns. I know this isn't easy to implement. For this would require tremendous clearing of encroachments towards roads. Yet, to follow lanes, would require a six lane road.
4) To penalise people who are not following traffic rules. People who overtake and cover most of the roads must be penalised. A lot of times, I have noticed that motor cyclists use the footpath(a pathway meant for pedestrians) as road. Footpaths are so worn out that they are now at the level of roads. Now, does that mean that pedestrians should not have any place on roads?

Of course, there must lot of other ways to curb the traffic problem of Bangalore, apart from the above mentioned ones. I used to travel about 2 hours to reach my office from my home, when I was in Chennai. Of course, my office was about 50-60 kms from my house, and normally, it would take that much of time. But to take 2 hours to cover a distance of 20-25 kms is simply not acceptable. Wonder when will there be a solution(will there be any?) to this long pertaining problem!...

Ten days of Onam...

2007-08-29T18:26:00.001+05:30

Carnival of Onam continues for ten days in the state of Kerala. In some regions of the state festivities are restricted to four to six days only. However, scholars say, the festivities have toned down a lot in the present time. In earlier days, Onam was celebrated for a month and much more lavishly.

Nevertheless, Onam is still celebrated with gaiety and joy on all the ten days of the festivities. There are set rituals for each day and the traditional people of Kerala dutifully follow them. The mood of the people is upbeat all through the carnival and the high spirited people of Kerala are ever ready to indulge in merriment.

Of all these days the first day Atham and the tenth day Thiruvonam are the most significant ones. Ninth day Uthradam is also considered to be extremely important from the point of view of celebrations in several parts of Kerala.

Atham - Day One
Atham is the first day of festivities in the ten-day-long Onam carnival. The day of Atham comes ten days before the asterism Onam or Thiru Onam hence Atham is regarded holy and auspicious by the traditional people of Kerala.

To complete the rituals of Atham people take early bath and offer prayers in the local temple. There is also a set breakfast for Atham consisting of steamed bananas and fried pappadam (pappad). This breakfast remains the same till the tenth and the last day of Thiru Onam. A swing decked with flowers is also slung from a high branch and youngsters take great delight in swinging and singing Oonjal (swing) songs.

Major highlight of Atham is that people start making pookalam from this day. Pookalam, also called Athapoo, is an intricate floral mat laid in the front courtyard by maidens of the house. This is done to welcome the holy spirit of legendary King Mahabali whose spirit is said to visit Kerala at the time of Onam. In subsequent days more flowers and new designs are added to this pookalam. Selection of flower is also an important matter as a particular flower is selected for each day for a specific deity. Great deal of thought and creativity is employed in the making of Pookalam as girls vie with each other for the best design.

A grand procession called Athachamyam is also carried on the day of Atham to mark the beginning of the grand carnival of Onam. The procession is carried out to commemorate the royal custom of the erstwhile state of Kochi when it was customary for the King to travel with his entire entourage to the Thripunithura Fort. Even in the absence of King today, the custom still retains its majestic charm. Elephant processions, folk art presentations, music and dancing make Athachamyam a spectacular event. The procession of Athachamyam is of marked importance at Thripunithura, Kochi.

From the day of Atham an atmosphere of joy and jubilations envelops the very air of Kerala as people get engaged in one activity or the other. Everybody wishes to celebrate Onam in best possible manner.

Chithira - Day Two
Chithira is the second day of celebrations in the ten-day-long Onam festivities. There are not any marked rituals for the day but people offer their prayers to evoke divine blessings.

For girls the importance of the day lies in the fact they will add new flowers to Pookalam which they started on the day of Atham. So they have to unleash their creativity and think of the most innovative and creative design. Boys of the house will get the job of arranging flowers for the girls. After all everybody wishes to invite Lord Maveli in their own house by making the best Pookalam in the neighbourhood.

Planning and intense discussions for the big day of Onam begins from this day. Each event is discussed in detail so that nothing remain undone or incomplete. A long shopping list is prepared and children get the opportunity of putting in their long pending demands in the elaborate list. A time for wish fulfillment for everyone!

Chodhi - Day Three
Third day of the ten-day-long carnival of Onam is called Chothi or Chodi. The day is marked by buzz and lot of activities. Frenzied shopping can be witnessed in the market place all over the state as everybody buys new clothes and accompanying accessories for the grand festival of Onam. Gifts are also procured for everyone in the house including the servants. Some shopping is also done for closed relatives. With the increasing hype for the festival, thanks to the media, shopkeepers too come up with innovative incentives to lure the customers who are in the mood to spend. These days even electronic good keepers offer attractive discounts to cash in on the bullish mood of the festivities.

Well, there are no set rituals for Chothi. Specific flowers are added to Pookalam on this day too. It may be noted that different types of flowers are added to Pookalam on each day as each flower is devoted to a particular deity. As a result Pookalam increases in diameter on this day and gets a refreshing new design.

Visakam - Day Four
Vishagam or Visakam is the fourth day of the Onam festivities. As the number of days left for the big days are very few now, excitement becomes palpable amongst the people of Kerala. Brisk activities in the market and households can be witnessed on the day of Visakam.

Women who have to prepare the elaborate meal of Onasadya on Thiruvonam, gets engaged in the prior preparations on Visakam. Making of various types of pickles and pappadams (papad) besides various other things begins now.

Girls engage themselves in making new designs for Pookalam with flowers of different colours and shapes. It is an endearing sight to watch women dressed in their traditional attire working on the Pookalam. They sing and make merry as and at the same time give shape to their creativity. Pookalam designing competitions are also organised at various places. These are extremely popular in Kerala and witness a participation of large number of designers and onlookers.

Anizham - Day Five
Anizham is the fifth day of Onam celebrations. High point of the day is the grand Snake Boat Race event called Vallamkali, which takes place on the fifth day of the Onam. The hugely popular competition happens on the banks of the river Pamba at Aranmulla. A multitude of domestic and international tourists come to witness the colourful spectacle of the race.

A large number of long snake like boats called chundan vallams participate in Vallamkali. Each picturesquely decorated boat is oared by hundreds of oarsmen dressed in the traditional dhoti and turban. Boats are oared on the rhythm of vanchipattu or boat songs. Vallamkali is essentially a team event as a single mistake by a oarsman can lead to overturning of the boat.

On the home front, more flowers are added to the Pookalam laid in the front courtyard of the house. Women become extremely busy making preparations for Thiru Onam and a general atmosphere of excitement prevail at this time in Kerala.

Thriketa - Day Six
Triketta or Thriketa is the sixth day of the carnival of Onam. A feeling of joy and jubilation can be felt amongst the people of Kerala at this time. Cultural programmes and social gatherings are organised by various cultural societies all over the state. People of all religions caste and creed participate in these events as the festival of Onam has come to be seen as a secular festival. Government of India too celebrates Onam as the National Festival of Kerala.

There are no set rituals marked for the day of Triketta. It marks the time for home coming for people staying away from their families for various reasons; Onam is the time for family get together and nobody likes to be away from family and dear ones. Joys of festivities doubles in the company of family members and close friends. On this happy note, Pookalam gets a more beautiful design and fresh flowers.

Moolam - Day Seven
Moolam is the seventh day of the festival of Onam which continues for ten days. With just two days left for the festival now, enthusiasm grips the state of Kerala. Bright colours of the festivities can be seen in commercial areas of the state where the shops are loaded with goods and people are jostling for a space. There is hustle and bustle everywhere as excited people do their last bit of shipping. What is even more apparent on the faces of millions of people of Kerala is the spirit of joy and happiness. People get the feel that the time to meet their Onathappan has just come. A year long wait is going to be over and there will be celebrations all around.

Pookalam is made in a new design with kondattam (gaiety) on this day with the most beautiful flowers. For Maveli is coming and there is mirth all over.

Pooradam - Day Eight
Pooradam is the eighth day of the ten-day-long carnival of Onam. The day holds significance in Onam festivities. Devotees create clay idols in the shape of small pyramids called a Ma. As the idol is created on the day of Pooradam, it is also called Poorada Uttigal. Each Ma is decorated with flowers.

On Pooradam size of the Attha Poo gets further increased due to an addition of design with a different flower. Hectic last minute shopping takes place at this time as people strives to give shape to their creative plans. Massive house cleaning operation starts as people ensure that everything looks neat and tidy when the Onathappan arrives. People also visit friends and relatives and exchange warm greetings of the festive occasion.

Uthradam - Day Nine
Uthradam is the ninth and the penultimate day of the festival of Onam. There is jubilation all around as people prepare to welcome the spirit of King Mahabali. In some regions of Kerala festivities of Onam starts in a full fledged way from Utradam itself. It is a public holiday on that day. Some people also call Utradam as the first Onam and the next day Thiru Onam as the second Onam.

On the day of Utradam tenants and dependents of Nayar Tarawads (traditional large joint families sharing a common kitchen) bring produce of their farms or the product of their toil to the Karanavar (eldest member of the Tarawad). These gifts from the tenants to the Karanavar are called Onakazhcha. Karanavar greets these people warmly and treats them with a sumptuous meal on Thiru Onam. Village artisans also bring their handicrafts to the Karanavar and are graciously rewarded.

Houses are cleaned up on this day and people get charged up to participate in the events to take place on the following day. Pookalam is given a nice design with new and special flowers on this day.

Thiruvonam - Day Ten
Thiruvonam Aashamsakal ! The enchanting state of Kerala reverberates with the chants of Onaashmsakal, "To everyone, Onam Wishes" as people exchange warm greetings of the occasion on the tenth and the most important day of the carnival of Onam. People believe that it is on Thiru Onam that the spirit of legendary King Mahabali visits the state of Kerala.

Activities begin early in the morning. People clean their house, take early bath, wear new clothes and participate in special prayers organised in individual homes and then in local temples. Later a very special and the biggest of all days Pookalam is prepared to welcome Maveli. Clay mounds in the shape of pyramids representing Lord Vishnu and Mahabali are prepared and placed in front of the Pookalam.

In the noon the grand feast of Onam called Onasadya is prepared. The strictly vegetarian meal consists of 11 - 13 mandatory dishes and is served on a banana leaf. The eldest member of the family presents gifts and new clothes to the family members.

Various cultural events are organised all over the state to mark the day. Dances, games, shows and get together are the other highlights of the day. Patassu (fire crackers) are also burnt to celebrate the occasion.

There are some rituals also marked for the eleventh and twelfth day called Avittom and Chatayam or Chathayam respectively. But the major celebrations get over on the tenth and the most important day of Thiruvonam.

Husband-Wife Or Brother-Sister

2007-07-22T13:30:00.000+05:30

We are married for more than 8 months,now. And yet, people mistake us as brother and sister. Here are three such snap shots, where both of were mistaken as siblings.
The first of them was a sales girl, who was trying to woo us into buying some quiz books. In the process of convincing us, she turned to my husband and started explaining "Your sister must be studying, right? Perhaps, she could use these for competitions." I replied "I am currently working. I don't require these quiz books." She was a little surprised when I told her that I was working. Later on, when we disclosed that we were a couple and not siblings, she was gaped.
The second time was when we both went to open a joint account in the bank. The staff explained that joint accounts could be opened beween brother and sister. We clarified that we were husband and wife and not siblings.
The height of being mistaken as siblings came in quite recently. Our religion has it madatory that young men and women who are engaged to get married, must attend a pre marital course. Now, since my marriage happened in a jiffy, both of us didn't get time to attend this mandatory course. We were excused on the pretext that we would be attending the same, after marriage. On some reason or the other, we were putting this course for a long time. Recently, we both got to attend the course. Yeah, the course was fine. The next day morning, my mother-in-law received a call from the organisers, that had marriage alliances for each of us. My mother-in-law had to then explain them that we were married. What could we say, rather than have a hearty laugh.
Talk about being mistaken!

Good Old Days...

2007-06-13T20:03:00.001+05:30

Long long before, there were a bunch of cousins who used to get together on every summer vacation and have great fun at their grandparents house or any of their uncle or aunt's place. The cousins were spread across at different places of the state , of the country and of the world. They used to get together, play games, run around the trees in the 'parambu' or 'muttam'(courtyard), pluck fruits from trees, chase little chickens. At the end of the vacation, they would be reluctant to leave each other. Yet, they had to move on. They had to go back to their parents' workplace and continue their education. All was well and good until the cousins grew up. Each of the cousins had exams at different times and soon, the get togethers came down. Finally, they met at their grandparents' funeral. Time moved on. Almost all of the cousins got settled in jobs and work. The get togethers came down to a full stop. And one fine day, there was the wedding of one cousin. All the cousins came together under one roof recalling the good old days. They had oodles of fun during the wedding. Again, time moved on. Soon, the next cousin's wedding arrived. The get togethers began to happen during weddings...One by one, all of the cousins got married. They started leading their own lives.

Well, the above scenario was my childhood days. We were a bunch of 13 cousins. Almost all of us met during summer vacations when schools were closed for summer. Today, none of us have the time to meet each other. Today, almost all of my cousin sisters are married. Some are even mothers. We hardly get to meet each other. Almost all of us are settled at different places. Since the marriages are almost over, now are the turns of baptisms of newly born babies. However, they don't seem to have the heat of a marriage function. If anyone of us is around in Kerala, we make an effort to attend them. Else, its work or family committments.

Life has changed, especially ever since my cousins got married. If only those golden days came back once again...perhaps, then we could cherish those moments better...

Life Lessons from Narayana Murthy

2007-05-28T23:28:00.000+05:30

Narayana Murthy and his wife Sudha Murthy have always inspired me with the learnings from their experiences. Here is one such article in published in rediff.com today.
http://www.rediff.com/money/2007/may/28bspec.htm

(Un)Lucky Friday...

2007-05-12T12:01:00.000+05:30

It was 6:30 PM. Another end of day and week. I was looking forward for a great weekend. It was quite an eventful day, packed with the usual set of meetings. I walked down to the ATM to get some cash for myself. After that, I walked towards the bus.
My father had called me up on my mobile. I chatted with him for sometime. Meanwhile, the bus also started. I ended my conversation with my father and settled down. At this time, I made a usual round of check to my feet. I wear a pair of golden anklets. This time, my right anklet was missing. I checked up twice and thrice. It was simply not there. I got a shock. I decided to get down and go back to office. I rang my husband's number on my mobile and told him that I was getting down and told him what had happened. He told me not to panic and that he will reach my office. He also advised me to inform the security in this regard. My mobile battery was draining down soon.
I got down from the bus, crossed the road and caught an auto to reach my office. All the while, I was tensed. I was losing hope. It's gold. And I was sure, I am not going to get it. Yet, on a shimmer of hope, I decided to give it a try. On reaching office, I informed the security about the loss. He said "I cannot guarantee you, Madam. It's gold. If you are lucky to find it, we will surely give it you, Madam". Yes, I didn't wanted to get an assurance. In case if I was lucky, in case if it was found, just return it back to me. That was all, I wanted. I made a vain search at my workstation, the rest rooms, the meeting rooms I had been to. All in vain. I had lost faith. I walked to the ATM searching all through the way. I sat there sitting on the pavement waiting for my husband. I was thinking of my bad luck as well as my carelessness.
- My mother had advised me a hundred times to tie the anklets with a thread so that it doesn't get removed easily. She also told me to replace the same with lighter ones, as the anklets were quite heavy ones. But, I gave a half hearing to whatever she said and learnt my lesson the harder way.
- The next thing was that I had panicked so much that while crossing road, I had not even bothered to look both sides of the road. I should have come to my senses and thought that "Lost is lost. No use crying over spilt milk".
My husband came to pick me up. We both again searched the way towards the ATM, but in vain. I was disappointed and forlorn. Though my husband consoled me saying that we could get a new pair, guilt surfaced me. My mother's words hit me hard.
I came to a normal state by describing the day's events to my husband, averting my mind from the loss, on the return journey. We had our dinner outside. We got back home. I just made a blind check towards my laundry clothes, and lo, what do I find? My good old anklet. I was elated and thanked my stars for the good luck. Anyway, this turned out be a good lesson. Mothers know best.
Moral of the story:Never give an deaf hearing to mother's words...

What seems to be small...

2007-05-07T13:34:00.000+05:30

What seems to be small and insignificant really seems big and important. Underestimating things just like that doesn't ease the problem. Solutions must never be based on assumptions. Doubts, small or big, asking them and getting them clarified is the best way to get things done. I think I sound like a team lead. Well, some lessons that I have been learning from my work for the past few days. I thought the module given to me sounded simple and the functionality seemed easy to implement. What I did not know was the fact that my module itself had a lot of integrations and hidden business which was significant in the solution to be provided. Conversation with my project Business Analyst solved most of the false assumptions that I was having. Modules, however, small must be seen through the big picture to provide a complete solution. If I don't get the big picture, I will rather end up in redoing the tasks given to me. Every minute detail, however small, counts to provide a clear-cut solution. I am expecting more such lessons from each project that I work upon...

I am working today...

2007-05-05T10:17:00.000+05:30

:(. What a way to enjoy a Saturday! Well, my company gave us an adjustment holiday last Monday keeping in mind of the long weekend.(Tuesday was May day, a holiday for us).
In lieu for that Monday, we have a working Saturday today.
Well, I am feeling very sleepy and am really in no mood to work today. I shouldn't be asking for more. I enjoyed the long weekend last week. So, got to work today. To me, Saturdays are meant to wake up late, prepare breakfast leisurely, watch lots of TV while preparing lunch and going out for movies, if any. And today, it is simply not a wonderful Saturday...Phew, I will wait for the next Saturday, no other go!

Being Married...

2007-05-03T16:31:00.000+05:30

Five months of being married have taught me couple of lessons. Some of them are:
- Marriage is a commitment for life. It's an irreversible change where one's status remains changed forever. You were single before marriage, married after marriage. No way can you come back to the single status(Divorces change the status to divorcee, not single). It's a huge decision that must be made after putting in lot of thought and not be taken in haste. It involves
families and people whom you love, not just you alone.
- Marriage is essential both for men as well as women. Men need love from women and women also require the same, besides security.
- Marriage has made me wiser. I thought I could make myself happy. But happiness is when you make your loved ones happy. I can never be happy if my husband or my parents are not happy.
- Marriage has taught me to be more selfless. I was quite a self-centered person, but now, I have started thinking about others, beginning from my husband.
- Marriage gives you freedom, however, you have to think about your partner too in that freedom.
- As friends and cousins get married, they start narrowing down to their families. We will ultimately feel left out when we are alone or have no one to share with.
- It's feels actually great and fun to do things together. Be it cutting vegetables or washing clothes or watching television or lending a hand in the daily chores, it is fun..
- We live only once. It's up to us to make moments gloomy or happy, laying apart unavoidable circumstances.
- Fights are present in every marriage. No marriage is perfect. Fights must be short-lived and to be frank, they spice up life. Without them, life is rather dull. Fights must end by end of day. No fight is worthy to be taken up on the next day.
- For me, now there is an objective in going back home. Someone is waiting for me, when I get back home :).

Though marriage has those add on responsibilities like cooking, cleaning, washing and what not, it brings one big bond, which if intact, can or must never break - the bond of love and togetherness...

What is Love?...

2007-04-27T10:24:00.001+05:30

The other day, I was remembering my paternal grandmother. When I was young, I hated to go over to my father's place, simply because my grandparents were staying there. My father was their only son. So, they always looked forward to meet us. However, whenever we went there, my grandmother never showered love on us explicitly. She often gave us warnings or scolded us(me and my brother) whenever we did some mischief. I never saw my grandmother in a loving mood. That's precisely the reason we never wanted to go there.

Today, she is no more. Today, when I look back, I feel she was a loving person indeed. She didn't in fact, show that explicitly. Whenever she wrote letters to my father, she always added two lines at the end - "pillarekku Appanetyum Ammayudeyum panchara ummagal" translated as kisses from grandpa and grandma for the children. She never forgot to add those two sentences for each letter she sent us. Similarly, I loved dry fish that's fried. Whenever, I went to my father's place, she made it a point to make that. When we leave for Chennai from our native, we as kids, were asked to give a kiss to our grandparents. And when we did that, their eyes were always moist. She always gave my father lots of goodies to pack, that were grown in the home garden. They could be tapioca, tamarind, brown rice, mangoes, coconut or anything. My grandparents never troubled my father for any money. In fact, they often refused to take any money from my father, when my father offered them. Whatever my father gave them, was often kept unused. They made their needs all alone. They lived their lives all alone until the age of 87. Today, when I think of that, I feel that's the love that they showered on us.

Another person whom I remember is my aunt. She too never showed love explicitly. Whenever we visited them, she used to pack jackfruit chips, delicacies made from jackfruit, 'chamanthi' podi(dried coconut gratings, fried deeply) and any other foodies that was available there. Recently, I was at her place and I was crying for some reason all the while, putting the blame on my father. My aunt(she is my father's sister), was silent all the while when I was bursting out with emotion. She later on, quietly said to me, "Don't make your appa worried". I was touched. My aunt was worried about her only brother. She wanted to see her brother happy. I could now realize how much love my aunt had for her brother. I feel their love is never explicit. However, they shower love by the acts they do.

Today, I don't know how many of us are blessed to receive such love. Perhaps, we might be receiving them, but we wouldn't be realizing them...

How my mother made it...

2007-04-25T09:58:00.000+05:30

This is the post that I had sent to Rediff.com...

I have provided the link in the title...I hope I get access to it whenever I want to...

I am happy :)...

2007-04-25T09:55:00.000+05:30

Two things that occurred recently, because of which my mood is in up swing these days.

I met my cousin who stays at US after 14 long years, in Bangalore.He had come on a visit to India. He made it a point to visit me this time. I felt special when he came to Bangalore and met me :).

The second thing is that, one entry which I had mailed to rediff.com got published. They had asked about successful dad/mom. I had sent an entry and it got published. Though the editor did make some changes, :(, yet, it was okay. My next post would be that entry...

Transition to Bangalore or Bengaluru...

2007-04-10T14:31:00.000+05:30

It's two weeks since I landed in the silicon valley of India - Bangalore or Bengaluru as it is rechristened now. Having lived all my life in a suburb of conservative Chennai, I am trying to get adjusted to the new city environ. Here I list down some changes that I encountered or am encountering in Bangalore.
- Started to have bed coffee/tea. It provides me energy to prepare breakfast.
- The Hindu Bangalore edition is not very inviting compared to the Chennai edition. Yet, I have not kicked out my newspaper reading habit.
- Started to prepare breakfast. My mom used to do it at Chennai or I used to have it office.
- Catching bus at 8 AM to reach office. I never had this luxury at Chennai. My office bus at Chennai used to start at 7 AM. I really had a hard time to get up early in the mornings.
- My travel time got reduced considerably at least in the mornings. It takes an hour here, while it took two hours to reach office at chennai.
- I changed to a new company. New systems, new people, new comparisons, new cafeteria, new pantry, new policies, new office, new team.
- Traffic at Bangalore is unbeatable. 25-30 Km commute should ideally take an hour, but here it is between one and half hours to two hours.
- Life in Bangalore is fast. Buses, cars, motorists are all in a hurry making driving a real scare.
- Listening to Kanada film songs in radio while on commute to office. Hindi film songs are also being played in between. In Chennai, it was tamil, tamil and always tamil in radio while on commute.
- It's damn expensive in Bangalore. Be it the clothes or a simple restaurant bill, it's expensive. - Climate is good in Bangalore. It's neither hot nor cold. It's warm.
- Started cooking in full fledge. Well here, I would be frank enough to say that it's better to be a daughter than being a wife. As a daughter, the only thing you have to bother is listening to your parents. Here, it's like taking full responsibility of a home which includes cooking food, dusting, washing clothes, ironing clothes, cleaning rooms, having a eye on the diminishing food provisions and what not. My advice to all the unmarried women, enjoy the most set of privileges before marriage. You won't get it after marriage.
- Saturdays or Sundays have been invaded by outings. We go for movies and dine out. Then, there are the purchases to be made on these days.

Life in Bangalore has been good so far. Let's see what's in store for me in future...

Quitting Finally...

2007-03-19T18:51:00.000+05:30

Finally, I made the move to quit my first company. It was a hard decision for me. 15th of March, 2007 marked my exit from my first company. I wanted to be associated with it as long as possible. From my personal front, I was forced to make the move. I don't know if people get really attached to the organizations they work. Well, I did. On the last day, when I bid good bye to my friends on board and when I shut down my machine for the last time, they were the emotional moments for me. Yes, I couldn't control my tears. This was my first company, where I made entry to suave world of Software Industry. Here, I learnt a lot of things. From a very introvert to the confidence that I have now, I owe to that organization.

32 months back, I joined this company as a fresh graduate, little knowing what software industry is all about. I was put into a J2ee training batch, where I had oodles of fun, learnt what team spirit is about, went for batch outings. After my training was over, I was put into projects where I slowly started developing the confidence of writing programs. If asked to list down what all this organization contributed to, they would be...
- Giving me direction to choose a line in software. Training me in J2ee was the first and the best step.
- Giving me an oppurtunity to attend seminars for effective communication skills.
- Giving me oppurtunity to make me realise that I can manage to learn at the job.
- Giving me oppurtunity to work in a fully flegded software development life cycle(SDLC) project.
- Giving me oppurtunity to meet new pals at new projects.
- Making me shift projects smoothly and making me feel at home while getting adjusted to new projects.
- Giving me oppurtunity to take up trainings for entry level trainees. This was something that I thought is impossible for me. But I did it!
- Making me realise that my communication skills were excellent.
- Gave me oppurtunity to attend several team outings like dinners, lunches as well as general outings. This slowly shed away my inhibitions and I developed confidence to meet new people.
- Overcame the fear of singing in front of people. (Well, I have a good voice but I was too shy to show it off). And here, there were several people who appreciated my singing. :)
- Owe to this company for the good bank balance that I have. (I have heard in some organisations, people work for experience and they are not paid! In my tenure with this company, I never ever missed my pay check.)
- Made me realise what my strengths and weaknesses were.
- Gave me the confidence to attend some other interviews of some other companies.
- Taught me to "Celebrate Work" and lately to develop "Passion for making a Difference".

Missing this company means
- Missing the tea times with my batch mate and team mates.
- Missing those lovely lunch time conversations with my team mates.
- Missing the lemon tea from the second floor pantry.
- Missing to eat cup corn from the corn corner.
- Missing the much awaited annual day event of the year.
- Missing the gossips and humurous conversations that my team mates had. Specially, I will miss Sivaranjani for the wonderful insights that she gave me, making me to count my blessings and the witty quips that she used to make.
- Missing the radio from the long bus journey from home to office and back.
- Missing the trainings that I used to nominate myself for.
- Missing the breakfasts. (Yes, they were lovely and completely nutritious for a very nominal rate)
- Missing the "chaats" and dinner times that I had with my friends.
- Missing the cab drives when projects used to keep me working for late nights.
- Missing my workstation where I stored loads of informative stuffs and where I learnt the steps of coding, designing.

Sometimes, I feel I shouldn't have quit. There is a saying in my mother tongue "Swaram nanayirikkumpe paattu nirthuka"(Stop singing when your voice is still good). I guess, I had to follow that rule in my life too. I quit when I wanted to stay there for some more time. Perhaps, everything happens for good. Given a choice, I would love to work there again...

Being single...

2007-03-09T17:39:00.000+05:30

Yes, I have got married. So, I shouldn't be talking about this topic. But, I just couldn't resist talking on this line. I was single and was enjoying being single, until the daughter-of-marriageable-age bug caught my parents. I would say, being single was the most wonderful
period which I experienced in my life on this wonderful planet. I had no worries, no responsibilities, no stress, no arguments and the list goes on and on... It's was pure freedom.
I had a job that paid me reasonably well. I was content with my job. I could just focus on my
job, no matter how long it took.

For sometime, I was staying in a rented apartment along with a roommate. Since this apartment was close to my office, my travel time was drastically reduced to a mild 45 minutes(Previously, while coming from my home, it took nearly around 2 hours to get to my office). As a result, I used to reach my apartment pretty early. There was so much of time left. This was the time when I caught up reading novels, catching up with my favourite programs on television, listening to music at leisure, learn some cooking... I could say that apartment was my heaven on earth for the time I stayed there. I also learnt about keeping small responsibilities like paying the rent on time, keeping a check on the provisions for kicthen, buying required provisions. It was during this time, I followed a 'fruits only' diet for dinner.

My daily routine would start by my mobile alarm ringing and me switching it off. I would then get up and take up the morning newspaper and read at leisure for about an hour. Then, I would prepare breakfast, have a quick eat, before I left for office. After about the day's work in office, I would get back home by company bus. While walking back home, I would leisurely browse through the stores for any eatables. Back home, I would cook at my own interest, watch television and relish the food that I made. That was life. A truly independant life. It was bliss to have so much of free time.

I wanted to stay single for some more time. However, I could call this bug as daughter-of-marriageable-age that haunts every parent who have a daughter. This bug bit my parents too, as they thought I was of marriageable age and decided to get me married. I argued as to who decides this marriageable age. They said, girls must get married at my age. That was the norm of the society. I wonder, why should you suddenly bring society into home. If I am getting married, I should decide when to get married. Why should you depend on society for such a private and personal choice? Furthermore, why should the society bother if I am not getting married?

Perhaps, the Indian society would see an unmarried woman as a potential danger. Browsing through the net, I found that, it is difficult to survive as an unmarried woman, particularly in India. An article that I read recently, described about the rants of an unmarried woman
in search for a house. No one was ready to rent out their aparments to single women. I guess, this happens only in India. Women are expected to get married, produce children and get settled in life, in India. Is this all a woman for? Her career interests are put to rest
after marriage. Or, they are bothered the least. A lucky few can at least pursue a job after marriage. For most, it's a good bye to it. Some husbands don't prefer their wives to work. Some women are forced to give up their current jobs to join their spouses at some other location. Why is that the woman be chosen as the victim always? Why can't the man join the woman? Most important decisions are generally made by the man of the house. Why isn't the voice of the woman given a hearing? Huh, maybe, I am sounding like a feminist.

All I wanted to convey is that a woman shouldn't get married simply because, she is told to get married. She herself must feel the need to get married. If she is happy being alone, let she be. If she feels her happiness lies in marriage, let she get married and start a family. The only downside in this thinking is that by the time, a woman decides to get married, she wouldn't get a groom of her choice...

Weekend Couples...

2007-03-07T15:09:00.000+05:30

We(myself and my husband) are a weekend couple. Ever heard of such a term before? I don't know if I am the first person giving this term to our marraige. My husband and myself meet during weekends. We spend the week days at our work places. I work at Chennai and he works at Bangalore. We keep in contact with each other thru mobile calls and e-mails. I don't think I am describing something unusual about us. If both partners are working in software industry, this ought to happen. But, sometimes I wonder, where are we heading to.

How long will this continue...
The firm that I work for, has several branch offices at Bangalore. After my marriage, I requested for a transfer to Bangalore. My managers assured me that I would be granted a transfer within one month. Now, I thought, yes, perhaps, I could wait for a month or two at the max. for a tranfer. After all, it's business, and you cannot expect transfers to happen in a jiffy. However, it's almost 4 months down and I am still in the good old Chennai. When I keep enquiring about my transfer status, the reply that I get is,"No, Soumya, there
are no requirements in Bangalore now. We cannot transfer you to Bangalore. We will get you into a project here." My question is how long should I wait for the transfer to happen. For this, there are no certain answers...

I thought, maybe I was the only one facing this problem. But no, there are several instances where I found, many couples were left stranded in two different cities, and sometimes even in two different coutries, because their work puts them in that position!

There are two examples that I can quote here. One of my friends who works in the same firm where I work, got married recently. Her husband is also working in my firm, on deputation to US for a long term assignment. Now, my friend has a valid US work permit. She asked for a transfer to US on some project assignment, so that she could join her spouse at US. However, she is not being considered for transfer. The reason, well, yes, it's the same one provided to me, "There are no requirements now."

Another example, whom I can quote here is that of one of my husband' s friend. She got married about one and half years back. Her husband was working in Pune and she was working in Bangalore. He seeked for a intra company transfer to Bangalore, well in advance, about six months before their marriage. Well, again, it was the same excuse provided "There are no requirements now." Later on, he had to threaten that he was resigning, after about two yeas of living in Pune, living separately. Then, the HR sat up and provided him the required transfer.

An easy solution is to resign the job, when one gets married. However, watching the graphics of inflation slide upper and upper, putting your papers down is simply not the best solution.

Another solution is to look out for another job. That requires patience and adaptibility to adjust to the new work enivronment. And new jobs happen when you least expect to change. They don't happen at our choice.

Personally, I believed, I should stay in my organization to grow up in ladder as well contribute myself to the success of my organization. As pointed out in my previous blog where I had put up an inspiring article by Gopalakrishnan, where he mentioned employees don't seem to show loyalty to private firms, these days. This is the reason, I decided to wait for a transfer. I knew I could be offerred twice the renumeration that I am getting now, if I looked out for another job. Renumeration was not a constraint for me. However, if companies are not being employee friendly, there is no point in showing loyalty.

There are companies talking of work-life balance. If companies cannot even provide the basic work-life balance of spouses staying together at the same place, what more can you expect from them talking of work-life balance? Companies forget the fact that employees are their greatest assets. If employees are not happy, it eventually affects the performance of the company.

Well, as for us, we still meet during weekends,contributing our part to the revenues of Airtel Network and Southern Railway...